Why I Failed To Have A Girlfriend

Girlfriend is almost the most important word (maybe next only to career) in any young man’s lexicon. Long hours and words are spent discussing this special topic whether it be the lack of one or the availability of one with someone else. The ones who luckily manage one are generally barred from such communions.

I still belong to the category of the non-achievers and always have the company of other fellow mates.
As I’ve mentioned ago in a previous blog ( http://subbudaadda.blogspot.com/2009/02/feminine-my-misconceptions.html), I hated girls. Those were the सुखी days. There was no need to think of them. But as I grew, affinity towards girls increased. FLAMES and LOVE PERCENTAGES became an important passtime. Those were the days full of adolescent thoughts and we were trying to equate us with our screen idols. Love, girlfriend, affair were gaining prominence in our day to day talks. It would be untrue to say that the idea never crossed my mind. But I could never gain courage to do anything and also expectations from my parents and teachers chained me down.
Holy-Home was a nice school. Here stags were really a rare breed. Within the first few months all the “Fill in the blanks” and “Match the followings” were completed. The extra options like me were left out. They were actually never picked. Baishishtha and me bored the cupid strickens trying to gain some inside information. Many obliged and we decided that it was not our cup of tea! (Baishishtha did get one proposal, but then it ended violently!)
I escaped from there unscathed. In graduation, the feminine eluded me again. In PG I tried once but to no avail.
Still whenever we meet, the conversation always tilts towards this direction usually taking the form:

अबे लड़की पटाया क्या ?
कहाँ यार, तू सुना, तू तो हीरो है, दो चार होगी ही !
नहीं यार, अपने से कहाँ पटती, तू पहले पटा फिर हम तो है ही !
And the life goes on.

What can be the necessary requirements to catch a girl’s attention? This question has always gone unanswered atleast for me. Good looks, Rich Father, Intelligence, Flashy Bike, Humour, Good by Nature, ............. seems to be sufficient (as shown in multiple films and books all across the world). Anyone of these or a potent mixture of these qualities in varied proportion seems to be the criteria. I possess none of them and hence never dared to try!
But in last few years, I have seen love stories in which the guy possessed none of these virtues and sometimes was endowed with lot of vices as well. The girl on the other hand was सर्वगुणसम्पन्न. God knows what made these jodis.
But these contradictions actually flared my interest again. If these mismatches happened, maybe I possibly had a minute probability. और आशा पे तो ज़िन्दगी कायम है. This is what propelled me to do that misadventure. But I have returned back deflated.
This actually prompts me to ask why it’s so difficult for me or the others to get a girl while others do it very easily.
I can’t comment on others but at least I can have an insight into my problem. The reasons that I think are:

 Search for that elusive perfect girl. I want a girl who should be decently beautiful, intelligent, shock absorber, anger controller, caring, have respect for elders (especially my parents), sociable, …………… The only way to get such a girl maybe is to place an order to God.
 Look down upon every girl by finding some mistake in her in one or the other way.
 Unable to unshackle the ifs and buts, elders have put down.
 Lack of courage to talk to a girl properly in a chivalrous way.
 Not enough control on the excitation when a girl is around.
 Lack of commitment.
 Uncertain behaviour.
 Unattractive physically as well as emotionally.
 Unsolicited language.
 Rudeness.
 ???????

In short I lack the courage to go and say someone that I like you. I generally think over the whole situation in my mind, right from the proposal and the ensuing events leading to her refusal. (Uday Chopra is not the only guy!) And then the story ends there itself!

जाने वो कैसे लोग थे जिनके प्यार को प्यार मिला

Hope to get a solution soon!

P.S.:

 All Desperate Stags are requested to share their grievances.
 All Lucky Bastards are requested to share their knowledge with us so that the world can become a happy place. Please suggest the corrective methods to enhance our performances.
 All others are requested to do what they were doing prior to reading this. I am sorry for the inconvenience I caused to your nerdic life.