Parental Pressures

This topic was in my head for long. 3-Idiots, interactions with my students, sudden surge in student suicides and the forthcoming board exams have acted as an opportune occasion to relieve my ideas.

Students across the world face peer pressure in whatever they do. Most cruise away but a few fail to do so and succumb to it. Every parent wants his ward to be the most successful in this universe whether the junior likes it or not!

Most parents start forcing their children to excel (beyond their limits) during class X boards, some little earlier and a few from day one. Everyone wants his child to be the Numero Uno. They want them to be a Sachin, a Lata, a Bhimsen Joshi, an Einstein, a Kalam or aka some other great. And if the kid fails to do it, pressure starts mounting on him. But if we look into the lives of these greats, parental pressures & interference were at a minimal. This only allowed them to succeed. {Remember 3-Idiots!}

When the kid fails to live upto their expectations (which can even surpass the height of Mt. Everest!), guardians start chiding, arguing with them. Some even resort to emotional blackmailing, bribing, abusing and even merciless beating. They think that their excessive strictness will bring their kids back to the correct path. But more than often this has a negative effect on the kid. Not allowing kids to watch TV, curbing their playing time, not allowing to mix with other kids, stopping their favourite pastimes, saying no to every demand (sometimes even before listening fully) may seem as strict disciplinary measures to the seniors but for a junior it may act as the first seed of rebellion. They become discouraged, unhappy and eventually rebellious. They lie freely and don’t give a damn to what their parents say. Mostly this goes in their head:

साला जो करो उसी में इनको परेशानी रहती है ,
करो तो डांट नहीं करो तो डांट,
अब कुछ करूँगा ही नहीं,
देखें क्या होता है !

Discipline and strictness are good but too much of anything is bad for everyone’s health. {Watch Bomarillu & Taare Zamin Par for a more thorough audio-visual outlook.}

Another trouble is the comparisons faced. Parents compare them with their more successful siblings, friends or relatives. Even teachers resort to this kind of comparisons as well. This leads to an inferiority complex among such kids and they feel discriminated and alienated. This may lead to decline in his performance in all walks of life and even can result in a suicide.

{A classic example of contrasting yet successful siblings is that of R K Narayan & R K Laxman. While Narayan is a celebrated English novelist, Laxman passed XIIth barely. But the great cartoonist was not discouraged and he made a niche out for himself. His ‘Silent Man’ speaks more than volumes of books!}

In the mad race of ‘Who’s Better’, parents involve their kids as well. They want their wards to excel for the enhancement of their respect in the society. Slowly and steadily we join the bandwagon and become horses running for their pride. Soon we acquire the contagious disease of ‘Who’s Great’ and may well pass onto the next generation as well. {It’s same as: “We rag because our seniors did so to us!}

Let’s change the world now. Let’s not repeat what our guardians did to us. Let’s put an end to this nonsense and allow our next generation to live freely and not entail them to the same miseries as we went through.

Also the kids who suffer should understand that the existing ‘Who’s Great’ disease cannot be cured fully. So, they should do a small compromise. They should study enough to get a respectable 60-70. Believe me it won’t be difficult if you encourage yourself to think it as the gate-pass to your free life. The parents should also accept this fact their ward is not the genius they wanted. But that doesn’t mean he is a no-brainer either. He may be excellent in some other field which you would have chosen to overlook. Cultivate his potentials and he will reap in a successful and a happy life. Isn’t it what all parents want !!!!!!

So, it’s an earnest request to all seniors that please be on your children’s side when he needs but don’t forcefully guide him to tread the path that you have chosen for him!

P.S:

Suicidal tendencies: Of late many kids are killing themselves, unable to handle pressure. My request to them is that life is precious and can’t be lost for some minor failures. You are not asshole losers to die like this. Life doesn’t end here. Picture तो अभी बाकी है मेरे दोस्त !

To my friends: All of us will become parents in the next 10 years or so. Promise yourself not to repeat what happened to you!

Terror Strikes Again

13th February, 2010 now will be remembered as a “Black Saturday” in the history of Pune. Bloody bastards who think themselves warriors of religion struck terror in Koregaon Park. The locality is posh, peaceful & cosmopolitan and is frequently by foreigners. Osho’s ashram is close to the Jewish Chabad and the German Bakery (place of incident), a popular hangout, makes it a picturesque location of communal harmony. And such locales have always been on the target of these incongruous bastards.
Anything nice & peaceful across the world pricks like thorns in their eyes. Many were saying that these terrorizers were afraid to do something on a large scale after 26/11. But I always believed the calmness to be the lull before the storm. Few days back an incident was averted in busy Howrah station as well. Now it seems these rascals are turning their attention towards tier-II cities! I always believed that cities like Kolkata, Pune, Vadodara acted as their backup centres from where they got their technological help. {Last time around all wires lead to these cities!} But now it seems they are going all out!
I strongly condemn these actions but it seems that very less can be done by us. These people dream of breaking our country because of the amount of unity among is decreasing day by day. The way we are distancing ourselves on issues of religion, languages, caste, this, that, … is actually helping them.
The Pune blast is another example. While the state police was trying to ensure that beleaguered Senamen don’t create any nuisance, the terrorists got a free hand & struck! When will these people understand this simple thing! If they continue with their activities, it would not be difficult for the outsiders to blast the hollow & derelict shell!
With my condolences to the deceased, I sign off with the impossible hope that this terrorism stops!
Jai Hind!!!!
P.S: Watch this video from Krantiveer where Nana Patekar talks about the modern India. The movie is of 1993 but the situation from then has not improved but worsened!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-DNavQ5l9w

Today’s Show: Shiv Sena vs India

‘My Name Is Khan’ failed to release.
The reason:
Shahrukh Khan, the film’s hero, had innocently said that Pakistani players should have been allowed to play in IPL-III. Shiv Sena thought otherwise and decided to protest. They as usual have threatened to hold a Sena-type protest i.e. destroying public property and resorting to mass scale hooliganism and vandalism.

Resorting to violence is not new to Sena. Their leaders i.e. the Thackreys have always liked to hit and make their point. They actually don’t know any other way to make them known. Right now they are in a corner. They have lost the elections again even though the incumbent government fared really poor in the last term. Nephew Raj has floated a new party, the dreaded MNS, which works on the same lines and is eating into their vote share. {The immediate beneficiary of this catfight is Congress & NCP. Almost half of the Mumbai MPs in this Loksabha election won by very thin margins thanks to MNS! } Balasaheb had taken a vow, in 2004, not to cut his beard until BJP-Sena won the assembly elections. He has to wait at least another 5 years for that. Add to that losing important leaders like Chhagan Bhujabal & Narayan Rane. Now even BJP has openly decided to leave the coalition. So, Sena needs issues to stay in limelight. What to do! That is how their style of politics runs. People will forget them otherwise and they know that.
From the very beginning the party’s motto has been very regional or specifically local i.e. Mumbai is for Marathis! So, sometimes they protest against the Madrasis, sometimes Bengalis and lately North Indians. Pakistanis have been their favourite as well (They tried to blow them up in 1993!). Lately they have been interested in Australians as well.
Now coming to the MNIK issue.
Even before SRK went against Sena’s diktat, Sachin Tendulkar, Mukesh Ambani & RSS had crossed their lines as well. They all voiced that Mumbai is for all Indians! Now that is going to irritate a Marathi loving party. But Sachin is himself an ardent Marathi Mumbaikar, the most famous and most revered actually. So, he was just reprimanded. Ambani was also left out. RSS chief is again Marathi. But this time Sena lashed at Ram Madhav, a North Indian. A little scuffle happened but calmed down. And then SRK praised the Pakistanis! {He has Wasim Akram as his team’s bowling coach. God knows what happens to it! Many of us actually want to see the likes of Afridi, Malik, Asif & Aamer in action!} That was enough for the Senamen! They started burning effigies, posters and then decided to boycott the movie. They even termed him as traitor and even pulled other Khans into it {It was not the ingenious idea of US authorities to stop SRK at Newark airport then! Khan is a taboo word in Sena dictionary from time eternal}. But Rahul Gandhi’s whirlwind Mumbai tour just swept the feet out of Sena. He travelled in a local train! Goddamnit nobody in Sena, leave alone doing it, has ever thought about it even in their dreams. Even SRK gave some reconciling tweets. Sena decided to drop the issue. All seemed calm. Everyone was happy from SRK to financiers to the common spectator. But Mr. Pawar, after suggesting us to drop sugar from our tea, went to meet Balasaheb. What tea he drank there and what the hell he mixed in Balasaheb’s tea is beyond us! But the next day MNIK destruction tirade was back in action! Maratha unity’s great example!
Pawar said that he wanted the cooperation of Sena for smooth conduct of IPL-III. Good intention! But my question is why he went to Matoshri? He should have gone to the Mantralay. Isn’t it where Maharashtra is ruled from! Sometimes seeing the way our politicians reel around Balasaheb, it seems that Subhash Nagre’s (Sarkar) resemblance with Balasaheb goes much beyond the looks! He actually rules Mumbai. And he has proved again. No multiplex owner has garnered courage to stand against his diktat. The repeated offer of security and help by the state government has gone unheeded. Some have even said that the police fail to do anything when Sena attacks.
I’m not chaperoning Sena policies but the truth lies that everyone is afraid of the attacks. It’s high time when we have to shed our inhibitions and stand up against Senamen. It’s us who have to do everything as the government is going to be a mute spectator even if they come and destroy the whole mantralay. In Vidarbha, the Senamen fail to inspire as people here don’t pay much attention to them. Same treatment has to be meted to them elsewhere as well. Otherwise they will continue to take out their petty frustrations on different issues. Today it’s SRK, tomorrow it can be anyone. If required let’s give them the taste of their own music.

नफरत जो सिखाये वो धर्म तेरा नहीं है |
इंसान को जो रौंदे वो कदम तेरा नहीं है |

Let’s believe in these lines by Sahir Ludhiyaanvi and try to live them. Let’s stop these divisionalists or else we have to suffer like this forever! Let’s uphold the sovereignty and integrity of our country and make ‘Free India’ a reality that our forefathers dreamt of.
In the end I quote from Nikhat Kazmi’s review of MNIK in ‘The Times of India’:
But eventually it’s Rizwan Khan who walks out with you, branding the fundamentalists as ‘liars’ and telling all those who doubt his integrity: “My Name Is Khan and I am not a terrorist, a non-Mumbaikar or an unpatriotic Indian”.
Jai Hind !!!!
Jai Maharashtra !!!

बड़े होने का बुखार !!!

No, I’m not talking about growing up of an individual. I’m talking about the people who suddenly self-elevate themselves on account of tiny successes. They reach cloud nine with a speed faster than the speed of light! {Yeah such phenomena can violate laws of nature} And once there, others who failed to reach there are considered unworthy by the new demi-gods!
The path to reach cloud nine is not unique. Everyone can be propelled by different forces of varying proportions. Some common forces are:
Admission into an fancy college, new bike, fancy car, rich father, influential relatives, acquiring a girlfriend/boyfriend, hint of a foreign trip, better friends (as compared to the existing ones), better result, job, new and costly accessories & any other blah blah. The list is actually endless.
Once when greatness is achieved, his/her majesty stops interacting with the commoners who at times prior to the ascendancy were inseparable entities in his/her life. They even change their lifestyle and all other things that were associated with the previous life. So, others who were not able to get up to that platform feel left out suddenly. It feels discriminating, then embarrassing and then disgusting. In the end we stop bothering about such individuals and the relationship dies after turning sour.
Such, experiences have occurred to me, you, he, she, anyone and everyone. It’s a complex chain. We hurt others and then some other hurt us and the cycle continues.
My parents always said,

নিজেকে যে বড় বলে বড় সে নয় |
লোকে যাকে বড় বলে বড় সে হয় |

{ One who thinks himself to be great is never great.
One whom people think as a great is actually great. }
I believe everyone has been taught this in some form or the other. But in due course of life, all these become worthless.
Actually the art of thinking oneself as great and discrimination is learnt from this society which we live in. The society is based on the unhealthy unbalance of up & down, rich & poor, educated & illiterate, boy & girl, this & that. So, one idolizing himself will tend to discriminate others. This will lead to dissociation of relationships which end in absolute alienation and elimination and lead to the divisive life which our elders live and soon we will follow!
So for the common good of the society, let’s put an end to this nonsense and nip the evil in the bud itself. Let’s work for the ‘White Globe’ thought up by Auro, a world without boundaries, without discrimination, without hatred!!!

Nagpur Marathon: Run of Chaos

31st January, 2010, Nagpur ran for non-violence and peace. Yes, the 2nd Nagpur International Marathon was held on the occasion of International Non-Violence Day (Gandhiji’s death anniversary) which fell a day earlier.
Registrations had started more than a month ago. I had done mine and my brother’s registration and had secured the yellow T-shirts after an hour long tussle 15 days earlier.
As usual the quad comprising of me, Santu, Prasad & Taresh set out on Sunday morning for the 5.7 Km Non-violence run or the Ahimsa Daud. This time we missed the KP poha (It was all finished when we reached)! Lot of publicity had been done for the marathon and people had responded well. About a lakh participants were there. While the traditional races had the numbers limited to a few hundred in each category, Ahimsa Daud had a whopping 77,000 registrations.
While the other races were organized satisfactorily, Ahimsa Daud was a total chaos. At the race venue, Kasturchand Park, people started the race at their own accord. There was no formal announcement of a start and more confusion was created by the cultural programme going on there, in which people were actually coerced by the organizers so that they don’t mix with the participants of the competitive races. While many, including us, were watching the programme, the crowd at the rear started thinning. Then only we realized that we should also make the move. Even when the race un-officially started, the cultural programme continued! So, much for co-ordination!
Different banners and logos were being showcased on different issues as it is generally in these kinds of events. Near Institute of Science another mismanagement came into picture. The water pouches were strewn all over and it seemed like a water tanker had upturned at that place! No volunteer was seen and nobody had cared to stop this waste of water. Ironically, when we reached the aforesaid place, the banner in front of us was showcasing, “SAVE WATER. SAVE LIFE!” “ALL IS WELL” was the most famous banner and that is what kept the race going!
Lot more water was wasted at the finish point i.e. at Yeshwant Stadium. The road was again drenched along with the participants. Organizers were unavailable to stop this wastage as well. We, drenched a little, entered the stadium for the final ceremony. A yellow crowd welcomed us there. It seemed like a yellow sea had entered the stadium. There was no organization over here as well. Water pouches were being thrown here and there and the programme was disoriented. When Vaishali Samant was singing, a band and later a dance troupe was performing on the other side of the ground. We spectators were confused and later the coming of the Full-Marathon athletes totally diverted our attention away from Miss Samant! She eventually had to back out. At the race front as usual, Africans were at the front.
Then came the chief guests! When Azharuddin came, little confusions started broiling. Many boys who were in the field, unlike us who were in the stands, started foraying into the VIP area. But when Arshad Warsi, Vidya Balan & Neetu Chandra entered, the crowd went beserk. All the journos crowded the whole aisle with their microphones and cameras. And more and more of the crowd dashed into the VIP area. Everybody wanted the stars for themselves!
Disgusted and disappointed with just the satisfaction that we had glimpsed Azhar & Vidya, we moved out.
The event was really ill-managed. Even a high-school function is organized more properly. Even though the race was suppose to champion Gandhian values, I am sorry to say it just failed. Add to this two camera crazy fools who turned up as Gandhi! Who cares about Gandhiji’s values, it’s the vanity and pomposity which sells. Even though it was an international event, which could actually act as a platform to showcase Nagpur to the world, the leaders failed to break the party lines. The event had participation from only one political party while other parties maintained a respectable absence. Only few days ago all of them were hobnobbing for separate Vidarbha. The event showed unity and solidarity of the Nagpurians, all turning up at so early in the morning, wearing same clothes, running side by side and then the collective rowdiness. But it also exposed the shallowness of these politicians!
Lot more effort has to be put in to organize such events in future. And I’d also like to condemn the actions of the participants. They should be well-behaved next time. This time they have just ruined the reputation of Nagpur with their silly actions.
Hoping for a better function next time, I sign off.
Jai Hind!!!