What's In A Name? It's All In The Surname!

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

This immortal statement was written by Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet and thence has been an outright hit all through. From time to time, it has been quoted in various contexts all across the world in a variety of occasions. I’ve also taken the utmost liberty in using the same for this piece.

In the play, Juliet Capulet said this when she wanted to emphasize that she loved Romeo the person and not Romeo Montague the name. Even though Montague was a rich and influential family, she didn’t bother about them. She was just happy to be in love with Romeo, the person, and would have loved him even if he was from any other class or section of the society.

But how wrong she was! The society doesn’t adhere to the rules laid down by the free-spirits. It does believe in the institution of surnames (family name and title are the other synonyms). You can be anything but your surname will decide the consequences of your actions. You can be a dark haired, fair skinned, nicely built handsome man. But your surname will divulge your secret and you will be categorized as a Mexican or an Italian or a Pathan. And the categorization will not stop here. Next stop will be your religion, your faith, your community, your caste, your creed and what else! People will decipher your secrets faster than Sherlock Holmes. He at least observed some traits to make his deduction. They will do it with just the surname! (I myself am not different. I also deduce the same way!)

 I remember a debate in my college where a girl said that until the day she filled her class Xth exam form, she was unaware of the surnames and hence was oblivious to the caste and religion of most of her classmates. She knew them by their names only. But that her world changed. Now she knew who was a Hindu and who was a Muslim, who was a SC and who was an OBC. And all the prejudices that are associated with each and every caste, creed and religion come forthright face to face. The individual recedes into the background and he is judged by the action of the fellow brethren from his community (कौम), caste (जात) or religion (धर्म). It has happened so many times with us when we have labeled a Muslim to be a terrorist, a Marwari to be a miser and a Tamil to be Self-Centered. Just because of a few of them, the whole clan is abused.

And this is just not the story of me, my parents, my relatives and my friends. It is the story of all the organisms on this planet who consider them to be humans and hence superior to everyone around them. It is so ingrained into our system that we cannot free ourselves from this mindset at all. In our country everything from winning an election to getting a BPL card has come down to the surnames. Our politics has descended to caste vote bank politics instead of the idealistic pro-governance and pro-people or even the more practiced populist party level politics. People will ask your surnames first and depending on the likeability of your surname they will proceed to your name. But your acceptability will solely depend on your prestigious surname. It will only decide the further course of actions.

But think of a world without surnames! (No. I’m not asking to leave them. Just don’t bias others and centre yourself on them.) Sahir Ludhianvi wrote:

अच्छा  है अभी तक तेरा कुछ नाम नहीं है |

तुझको  किसी  मज़हब से कोई काम नहीं है |

People will love and hate (I believe hate has to be a part of life) each other on their virtues and vices and not on the basis of their respective communion. There would be more person to person interaction instead of the now practiced group to group interaction. At least one dose would be given to the bias ridden sick society of ours. I don’t believe we will be able to include our elders in this but at least the youth can participate and give a fair society to the next generation. Even if you can’t practice at least please think over it!

Is the Boss always Rightt?

“The Boss is right”! This statement is neither a tautology nor a fallacy.

Neither mathematical probability nor human psychology proves that a human being, how intelligent and logical he/she may be, can be correct and just in his actions always. It’s just not possible. But more than half the world believes in this philosophy of the boss being always right and hence by majority verdict even if it does not become a rule or a law, it asks for a look in.

Looking into it, though inexperienced but a keen observant, I think the innate human fear of losing security is what has prompted people to coin this phrase. Every average human being is hungry for love, money, food, peace and security. And the need to security increases with ripening of their age. Many put it to be “Knowledge + Experience = Wisdom”. But I, still young, find it otherwise and will stick to much-felt Fear rather than ill-gained Wisdom as the source. An average human is happy if his/her bread is secure with his dear life. And if somebody is in a position to be the one who decides on your bread, you are bound to oblige that fellow. He is no short of a messiah for you. So, what if he/she wants some actions to be done which doesn’t go well with your conscience. He is the boss who has a concise mind having clear thought processes and judging his actions is not any of your business. In some other cases you may have a far more clear thought than what your boss has but decide to overlook your own potential and toe the line in fear of losing your precious rapport, being the Yes-Man always, and the year-end increment which will be a gift. You also fear of being transferred to some inconsequential corner in the labyrinth of your organization or may even be terminated. God has been gracious to give us a brain which works i.e. it can think beyond material pleasures which every other organism can feel and understand in spite of their simple neural networks. But most of us just decide to overlook it. Last January, I had gone to see a programme of Bengali superstar Soumitra Chatterjee in Nagpur. He in an interview said the following two lines:

“Art begins where imitation ends” and

“Genius is the capacity of taking infinite pains”.

And add to it one of the famous sayings of all times:

“Leaders always think differently”.

By imitating, we are doing nothing productive. And, add to that, we are abusing our education, morals and intelligence. It is always wise to think rationally before commencing an action. We always think a thousand times before buying a watch, a bike, a house. We think so much when it concerns our near and dear ones. But why do we fail to think when we are at work. Is it because our actions won’t affect us but some third person? A person who in general doesn’t even know about your actions. Many have given me a, so called, solid argument that since the boss will get the credit if successful and the boot if it fails. Hence, why to bother about our contribution? We are here to do our job and we have done that with expertise, on someone’s orders, and are getting paid for it. But what about the morals and the ever pinching conscience. Are we a bunch of lambs that just follow their leader in a single line?

Kabir City: An Alternative To Ayodhya

30th September, 2010 was a day worth tons of Gold. It’s not because Ramlalla got his abode back. It’s also not because High Court gave a 3-point decision in which no one emerged as winner. But because of the restrain and composure shown by the Indian common man. It’s a known fact that “Crowd has only heads and no brains”. So, it was a welcome change on the part of the “brains” who didn’t turn the “heads” into a violent “crowd”. Fearing the backlash whole India stood still and took precautions not to venture during or after the verdict. It was one day in the last few weeks when CWG bashing took a backseat. The so called guardians of the society have only one motto:

हम हमारी रोटी सेंकते हैं।

देश और दुनिया गई चुल्हे मे!

So, why not prove them wrong like this always and show that we are one strong unit and don’t need their provocations.

So far so good. But the 3-pronged verdict is not a verdict. It’s a compromise in disguise. It has been done to make everyone happy and to stop violence. I haven’t liked it since the first day as this verdict is bound to be challenged. It has only delayed the process by another 25 years which our Judiciary is bound to take. I thought about writing that day itself but I was among the doubting Thomases who thought the calmness to be the lull before the storm. Seven days hence, I can safely say that there is going to be no storm or as Pritish Nandi has said that India has learnt the art of forgiving.

The verdict will surely be challenged in the Supreme Court because the concerning parties are not happy. And I believe they should do so. But the questions that the verdict has cropped up in my mind are:

• i)        How can the Judges or Team Saffron be sure that Ramlalla was born at the exact place where the idols have been placed? People may think me as an antagonist but I still don’t believe in the veracity of existence of Lord Ram. And even if he existed, to correctly point out the co-ordinates of his birth place thousands of years later is not possible. Even the ASI has found out a temple dating back to 10^th Century only. I would rather go with Justice Khan’s statement that this place is part of the larger area (or rather I would add the whole city) which is believed to be the birth place of Lord Ram.

• ii)      If the judges have decided that the land belongs to Ramlalla, what’s the point in giving 1/3^rd of the land to the Muslims? It’s better to give the whole land to Ramlalla. Nirmohi Akhara shouldn’t also get anything.  Everything should go to the custodians of Ramlalla. And it should be their prerogative what they do with the land.

• iii)    Why didn’t the Court clearly mark out the boundaries of the three parts? If we look at the map, it would be difficult for all three parties to utilize their respective areas without adjustments. And these people who have been at loggerheads for decades are supposed to find an amicable solution to distribute the land. Is this a joke or something?

• iv)    If the disputed structure, which passed on as a Mosque for so many years and now suddenly is against the tenets of Islam, was built on the ruins of a temple there shouldn’t be any problem. Land utilization cannot be termed a crime. But if indeed a temple was broken down, that’s a felony. There is no doubt in that. But in this case the felony was done by the Badshah of India in 15^th century. And I don’t think he or his amirs could be brought to case. Because if that be so, we have to do away with so many essential structures which came during the reigns of the Mughals and the British. And not all are fair and clean!

v)      All said and done. It’s high time that the perpetrators who brought the mosque down should be punished. Even if the mosque was an encroachment, it’s not the duty of Team Saffron to bring it down. That’s a punishable offence and the punishments should be done. But the million dollar question is when will it happen and if that happens will the peacemakers of now will remain the same?

Because of my views, I’ve always been termed an Anti-Hindu. I would like to clarify that I’m neither an Anti-Hindu nor a Pro-Islamist. I’m just a common man who loves to be human. Many have asked why I only ask for justice to Muslims and not to Hindus. I ask for both. I want Afzal Guru and Azmal Kasab to be hanged. I want Laden and Dawood to be killed. I want the perpetrators of various attacks on temples and trains to be booked and given the severest sentence. Along with this I want those people to be punished as well who want to create factions in the society on the name of region, religion, caste and whatever they like.

No religion, no community preaches animosity or hatred. All are based on love and compassion. Mohammad Iqbal has rightly said:

मज़हब नहीं सिखाता, आपस मे बैर रखना।

हिंदी है हम वतन है, हिंदोस्ताँ हमारा।

This idea of Kabir City has been in my mind for long. Instead of creating a grand temple or a mosque why not utilize the vast land for the benefit of the society. Let’s make an educational institution, a multi-specialty hospital, a high-utility market, a children’s park and few other utilitarian structures on the land. The entry to the place should be unrestricted and devoid of any religious overtures. And such a place can have only one name, “KABIR CITY” because Kabir was above all religions and was loved by all. He preached what we still fail to emulate in our lives. This might be a fitting tribute to him.

I know my thoughts are hypothetical and utopian but maybe they will end this “Mandir-Masjid” problem and start a new era of brotherhood and integration.

To end, I will quote a line from Gandhiji:

“There is Ram in RAMzan and Ali in DiwALI”.

Let our life be like that only.

A Rookie's Journey Through Food

My brother plans to go on a road trip across Bengal. You may ask what’s so novel in this idea! The novelty is that he will only visit those places which are known for their famous sweets. So, he might have to start at Baghbazaar’s Rosogolla, make his way to Joynagar’s Moa and then Shrirampur’s Langcha. Move northward to Kandi’s Monohara, look for sweets in North Bengal (I’ve very less knowledge about them), come back to Kirnahar for its variety of cheap but delicious sweets. He may also cross the border for Deoghar’s Peda and then cross back and end with Barddhaman’s Sitabhog. There may be other stops and this trip may consume a lot of money and almost a month’s time.

I don’t see the prospect of such a trip in near future as he is really busy in Nagpur. So, he will have to be content with Santra Barfi and Sohan Papdis for the time being. Last academic year was a year when I travelled across most of the region south of the Vindhyas because of my PhD entrances. It’s another matter that even after travelling so much, I failed to crack a single interview. Dipankar Sir, my MSc project guide, once said that travelling helps. And I experienced it myself. Every month I would travel to a new destination. I generally stayed with my friends but ate outside, met such different human beings and got to see all kinds of places, modern and ancient. And these happened not only in the places I visited but all along the journey, in trains, in buses, in autos, in boats and even in the short airplane ride I undertook. These journeys taught me a lot. A lot which even books failed to teach me.

Before undertaking a journey I generally eat up the whole Wikipedia and Wikitravel page of the city I’ll be visiting. And as I told earlier, my hosts will show the rest of the things which wiki overlooked. Thanks to my studying at so many places, I’ve friends across the country (now across the globe). And I never discussed only physics with them. I intricately tried to learn the culture and food habits from them. I’m not a great cook and my taste buds have been spoilt by 10 years of hostel food. But, I still can distinguish good food. So, enough of patronizing myself! Let’s embark on the journey with this rookie.

In Nagpur, I seldom eat at restaurants. The best places are the unhygienic dhabas, chat and tapri wallahs . In dhabas our favourite is PBM (Paneer Butter Masala). I’ve found this dish to be a delicacy only in the dhabas. I’ve no idea why this happens but it’s true. Santra Barfi @ Dharampeth, Milk Cake and Sohan Papdis from Heera Sweets are the only sweets which I find good. Even though you will find so many chat wallahs at Yeshwant Stadium, my favourite place to eat Panipuri, Bhel, Ragda Patish and others will always be Bajaj Nagar. I may seem audacious but the taste is here even better than Juhu Chowpatti (I’ve eaten there). For dabheli you need to go to the guy who has his stall near the Agrasen hostel at Ravi Nagar. Another delicacy of Nagpur is ‘Shikanji’ and you find it best at Yeshwant Stadium. For ice-creams, I used to go to Haldiram’s. But of late the nicest place I know is Frozen Delights (A Dinshaw parlour) near the traffic park. Samosa is a popular eatable here and I just love it. There are so many places where I’ve eaten it but the best would be the tapri @ Shankar Nagar bus-stand. For poha, U need to go to Keshav in Deonagar or at Kasturchand park but our favourite is one on the Pratap nagar ring road. For non-veg, Babbu’s at VCA, Sadar has no parallels. Not even the Babbus at Dharampeth and Sitabuldi. Other seasonal favourites are Sugarcane juice and Lemon-soda in summer, Roasted Bhutta @ VNIT in rains and flavoured paans from Dhantoli. One more popular type of cooking in Nagpur is Saoji but I’ve never tasted it because of its high chilly content.

For MSc, I went to Pune. The mess food was utterly bakwas. Even the food at IUCAA which was a lot better got boring due to its periodicity. So, every Sunday we had to venture out for food. In Pune, I ate less at tapris and more at restaurants. Dragon @ Khadki was a place to eat cheap and tasty Chinese. Deep was for eating Bengali. Mostly the costly but good enough sweets and Alu-Posto. Art-Beat was our retreat when we used to get bored from other places and our pockets used to falter. The ice-cream parlour near it was our favourite when we needed thick-shakes. Just outside our university was Barrel’s favourite Patiswala. I got addicted to him because of Barrel. But my favourite was upma. Just along the road to Chaturshringi was the dabheliwala whom you can say to be the fellow who made me fall with this dish. But the one near Hongkong lane at Deccan is the best I’ve ever eaten. Then there is the momos and sweetcorn at Goodluck square on FC road. The fruit-dish along with a 5-rupee fruit juice glass at Deep Bungalow chowk was a respite in summers. Cold Coffee was another of my favourite all through the year. The one stall at Shivajinagar was nearer and good but my favourite will always be Durga at Paud Road, Kothrud. I don’t remember to stop at one glass ever. Another joint just near it offered another drink called Cadby. Pure Chocolate! Aniket and I used to go out for dinner almost every alternate Sunday. How much we tried to get into a different restaurant on JM road, we generally ended at Maharashtrian and ate our favourite Bajri bhakris, bharit and sev-bhaaji. We still haven’t been able to eat more than 2 and half bhakris! And when our pockets started crying, we used to go to Badshahi or Satwik on Tilak Road for a cheap unlimited meal for just 50 bucks. Pune has also got me addicted to another delicacy called as Bhakarwaadi. I’ve till now eaten kilos of Bhakarwaadi. Another favourite from Chitale is Amrakhand. For gujarati food, one must go to Sukanta near the Z-bridge. For Parathas, it has to be Chaitanya on FC road and for maharashtrian, it will be Durvankur on Tilak road.

These were the two cities which I stayed for a longer duration of time. But there are others where I just visited and happened to eat a variety of dishes. Some were really tasty and there were others which were just the need of the hour. I’ll try to chronicle as many as I can remember.

During the trip to Mahabaleshwar, we had drunk Strawberry shake with an entire strawberry floating in between the glass. On Sinhagarh, the bhakri with korda (jhunka) and curd was really awesome. On Duke’s nose, I ate so many things with so many others. I remember eating bread with idli’s chutney and baked potatoes with jam! Then there was the Masala Uttapam at Aurangabad and I remember Barrel and me gorging to at least 13-15 rotis per person at a Jalgaon eatery. The food was abysmal but we were so hungry that it skipped our attention that time. I’ve also enjoyed food at Daund, Durg & Bilaspur station just because of the hunger quotient.

Speaking of stations, I’ve been fortunate enough to travel in most of South India’s trunk routes along with my most frequented Tumsar-Howrah-Katwa route. All throughout South India, I’ve survived on Idlis, Vadas and Dosas. One peculiar thing about them is that they always sell 2 Idlis and 2 Vadas together for 20 rupees. The taste is obviously better than Nagpur but it’s sourer at Nellore, Tirupati, Jolarpettai, Coimbatore and Ernakulam. In Trivandrum, I ate mostly non-veg in the Thampanoor area. The one food that I liked was Kappa (tapioca) biryani. Chicken dishes had more chicken than anywhere but fish dishes were real cheating. The curry used to be spicy but there would be only 2-3 pieces of fish. In Kanyakumari, food is real cheap at least to a fellow like me from Maharashtra (costliest state). We gorged on Idlis, Dosas and Vadas with Filter coffee and later washed our throat with Coconut water. In Chennai, I missed eating Chettinad at Triplicane but ate good Tamil-veg at Saravana Bhavan in Mylapore. This was the first time anywhere in India that I was not given a spoon to eat. Everyone around was eating with their hands. I liked the ambience of the atmosphere there. But when I asked the waiter for a spoon for my sweet dish, he looked as if I’d asked for a moon rock!

In the messes that I’ve eaten, I’ve come across novel dishes. Shahi Tukda (Bread dipped in cream) at TIFR and IUCAA, Bhaturas of IUCAA which need ultimate human efforts to tear, Russian Salad (Cabbage cut into fine pieces topped with some red liquid), patodis at Suruchi, Nagpur, tasteless fish curry with fish bones at Holy Home, Serampore, Aloo-less Aloo ka paratha at IIT Bombay are some of the food items I remember. I also remember the Hot Rosagolla’s syrup, Chilli Chicken of Holy Home, Mexican & sweet dishes of IUCAA, Hongroises, prawns & different dishes of Chicken of TIFR as they were really tasty.

In Bangalore, I found more bakeries than any other sweet mart and in three days I gorged on a lot of bakery products. But my favourite will be the filter coffee at the shop at Amrutahalli where I used to go for my morning paper. In Bombay, we generally ate at Food-Inn in Colaba. But Suraj & I have tasted some kebabs and other items on different restaurants on the Colaba Causeway. But ice-creams at Naturals, Colaba are one thing which we got addicted to. We used to walk every Wednesday to Gateway and on the way back we used to try different flavours. Sunday, we had to go to Colaba for food and again the same routine. I got such addicted that on returning to Pune, I stopped having ice-creams anywhere but only at Naturals, Bal Gandharv Chowk!

I’m also fortunate to be friends with Kingshuk. He showed me Bangladesh (only the coastline), I travelled the cheapest (boats at 50p), ate fresh and cheap fruits. But what will always appeal to my taste buds will be the different fishes including lobsters fresh from the rivers of Sunderbans. And add to it that his mother is a fantastic cook.

Last but not the least is આપ્રો ગુજરાત (our Gujarat). I’ve visited only two cities Ahmedabad and Baroda but I relish Gujarati food. Fafda, khakra, thepla, dhokla are fantastic delicacies. I missed eating non-veg at Kalupur, Ahmedabad but gorged on veg food like anything. What helped me was Kiran jijaji (my friend Sudhanva’s jijaji) is a foodie. He loves eating and because of him I got to eat at good places in Ahmedabad. Golas at 1130 in the night was really awesome. This year I went with him for dinner party and the food was sumptuous and delicious. Ahmedabad is a dry city but the fruit drinks are labelled Whisky & fruit beer. I don’t know the real tastes but these fakes were superb. Himadri showed me the city of Baroda. This is a foodie’s heaven. Pyarelal ki Kachori, kathiawadi khadki, પેન્ડે (pedhe), ફરસાણ (farsan), Dabhoi’s bhajiye, aamras, cold drink (milk shake laced with ice-cream) and even ઉપવાસની લસ્સી (Lassi for fasts) were all there. I was unfortunate that I went on a summer afternoon. On any other cool day, it would have been a treat.

There’s so much to eat more. I’ve missed પાપડી નો લોટ (papdi no lot) in Gujarat, dosas at malleshwaram, মনোহারা (manohara) at kandi and many more. Will venture out again to satisfy my taste buds.

I take the liberty in posting this food map that I received in my mailbox.

Hope you enjoy.

Common Worst Games

In another 10 days, Common Worst Games or Common Wealth Games as they are known to all of us will start in दिलवालों की दिल्ली. But a million dollar question every sport lover is anxious to know is that will this game ever happen! The visiting delegates from other countries have already cited innumerable problems in association with the games.

India is not known to be a very clean country. Citing stray dogs, shit and urine on all places imaginable, paan stains on the walls etc. etc. is not a new matter for most of us. But seeing all this in the quarters that you are supposed to occupy as a guest is unacceptable. And that is what the team from Scotland found in their living quarters. The cleanliness freaks (अब क्या बोलें। हिँदूस्तान में सफाई। Unthinkable!) cleaned it themselves. One official (Lalit Bhanot) went on record to say, “It is not such a big issue which we should be ashamed of.. Westerners have different standards (of hygiene), we have different standards. Well Mr. Bhanot do you sleep with dogs shitting all around your place? I don’t and the rest of India doesn’t either!

Another problem is of traffic congestion. Well this cannot be removed. The last time Delhi organized Asian Games in 1982, they got a lot of flyovers. This time they are getting good roads. Yes, if you go there, you will find only potholes but think about the great future that lies ahead. So, keeping vision 2020 or say 2220 in mind, the roads have been dug. Sooner or later they will be filled. I am sure the organizing committee will take ample care of the tract of road, they have reserved for CWG vehicles. I can assure the honourable guests that they won’t face any hassle or bumps on their way to the stadiums. Yeah, the common public will be stranded and made to travel on longer and circuitous routes. But मेज़बान can do that much for his मेहमान! What say?

Another worry is the under preparedness of the various stadiums and the recurring mishaps on those which seem to inch completion. We Indians love opulence and grandiose in whatever we do. This mentality came with the people who are directly connected with the organizing committee. So, we started making grander and grander stadiums without even thinking who was going to shoulder the excess burden or what was going to happen to these grand venues after the games finishes. It’s going to be चार दिन की चाँदनी, फिर अंधेरी रात. But a country which is accustomed to do an opulent marriage without thinking about the consequences on its pockets didn’t care. This resulted in structures which were ill timed and mostly hastened to finish. This led to construction of collapsible bridge resulting in the injury of 17 people. Already leaks, drainage problems, turf problems and many other problems have occurred. I hope if the games start by some means, the roofs of all the stadiums stays intact for the whole period of the games. Touchwood!

Next trouble is Corruption, Red-tapes and the Dance of Bureaucracy. India is a country run by babus and peons. It was highly unsurprising when CWG was not spared from it either. These people have the habit of delaying things. They just don’t believe in completing projects in time. Forget about completing in advance. The files will go in a merry-go-round and rotate as much as it can. And when it completely loses its merriness, it will be executed. By then the rates would have risen astronomically and babus would with a last ditch effort encash the situation in the favour of their hidden deep pockets. They also win enough accolades for setting the ball rolling. By any chance, if the event becomes successful they would get an award or else a transfer to a sick department to make it sicker. It’s not that only these administrators are tainted. Lalit Modi and Jagmohan Dalmiya have been in news for all the wrong ways of making money. I’m not supporting their wrong-doings but at least the game of cricket is still alive and kicking like never before. All thanks to these two gentlemen. But our babus are hell bent to kill all other sports that have mistakenly being placed in their hands. Voila!

Last but not the least come the organizers i.e. Shri. Suresh Kalmadi, Shri. M. S. Gill, Smt. Sheila Dixit, Shri. Lalit Bhanot and a few others. These people are no doubt one of the best in the administrative business. They come with credentials which are astounding and incredible. But the way they have handled or rather mishandled the whole games is a pity. Not only they have failed but also misguided the taxpayer. They have completely duped us. No RTI will be able to clear the doubts that are going through our minds. I would request them to render a public apology for the mess they have created. Anyways these people are habituated to give unrelated idiotic statements on anything from Ayodhya to Godhra to Poverty to Unemployment to Power crisis to Rotting of food grains. But ये सब हमारे घर की बातें थी। अब सारी दुनिया हम पे किचड़ उछाल रही है| This was neither expected nor acceptable because of these overqualified personnel. Now they have to do बंगाल का काला जादू to get the games started. I hope whenever we dare to do such a gala event next time, we chose a team which is sports minded and not politics minded. Looking Forward!

During the CWG-Youth games in Pune 2 years ago Jigar stole everyone’s heart due to its simplicity. Hope Shera does the same even after his opulence has gone for a toss. Amen!

P.S. : Why can’t India get a young Sports minister. The last ministers have all been old or not related with sports. Sorry Sunil Dutt ji but sports were not your forte. Uma Bharti was another mismatch. But the incumbent is totally unsuccessful. He gives statements on matters which are unrelated to him. His statements are always awkwardly foolish and he is habituated to disrespect people. Gopichand and Sushil Kumar’s Coach being among the few at the receiving end. So, please get a young guy who has at least played Gilli-Danda!

First Salaried Lecture

1030 hrs, 31st August, 2010. This date and time will remain etched in my memory for the next few decades which I’ve on this earth. This is the time when I took my first salaried lecture. It’s not that I’ve not lectured before but never ever I had an audience of 40 odd students who were there just to listen me. And another aspect of this lecture is that it will be paid for by the college.

I had never thought that I would be teaching in a college let alone an engineering college. But there I was at the appointed hour all tied up in a new shirt and a pair of new shoes just for the occasion. It would be untrue if I say that I was not nervous. I was to the very core of my bones. And when the bus started delaying, my nervousness was shooting through the roof. I had kept rehearsing what will be my opening lines even in my dream. I had planned to rehearse once again before entering the class but the delay was making me uncomfortable. So, I rehearsed the whole thing in the bus itself (Of course in my mind. Otherwise, people would have thought me crazy)! At last I reached just 5 minutes before the scheduled time. Phew! Not a wise start to the very first day!

I had thought to start with Semiconductors as I was comfortable with it and had actually prepared well in advance. But a meeting with a senior faculty on Monday changed it all. He advised me to start with Electron Ballistics as it was more concise and clearly understandable. I luckily followed his advice and starting preparing for the lecture. I had just prepared two pages when my brother came with the internet dongle. I got engrossed in Facebook and forgot to prepare further. So, with that preparation, I went for the lecture.

I had planned to get acquainted with the students first and ease the nervousness on both sides. After asking their names, I couldn’t even remember a single name and I realized that this method won’t work. Instead I should straightway start my syllabus and in due course of time get acquainted with them. They are anyways stuck with me for the next whole session! So, I started with electron. But I found out that the students were much hesitant in coming forward with the answers. This is a problem with most students. Even if they know the answer, they wouldn’t reply in fear of what would the teacher say and mostly what would the other students think in case of a wrong answer. I remember my Astro classes when Dipankar Sir would not budge forward until he got the answer out of our throats. I tried that but to no avail. So, I started dropping hints about the answers. When they reached the answer, they realized that they knew that all through. I believe this habit has to be inculcated now. And that brought a smile everyone’s face i.e. including me. When Dipankar Sir used to give us that smile, I thought it used to be a sign of frustrated relief. But today I realized, it was a sign of satisfaction.

I was so engrossed in teaching that I actually overshot the allowed time of 45 minutes. It was not until the next lecturer came, I had no idea! But even when I was leaving, I wanted to teach more. The students I guess were relieved. Next lecture was 45 minutes later. The hara-kiri in my mind had subsided. I was assured that I was not at the wrong place. I can be a good lecturer. So, in the next lecture, I was more composed and confident. This lecture also ended with the dissatisfaction of not being able to teach more.

After lunch I had a practical class. But as was decided earlier, practicals were not to start until next week. So, I started chatting with the students. First I started with semiconductors but dropped the topic after half an hour. We chatted for another hour or so before we ran out of conversations. It would have been a crime to continue torturing them on their very first day and hence a holiday was declared. Thus, I ended the first day of my teaching.

I have to thank all my teachers right from School to PG, whose ways I was trying to emulate. I must also thank my tuition students Aniket, Akshita, Rushabh and not to forget Nauty. Without them it would have been difficult to understand the mentality of the students. I must also thank my friends whom I’ve pakaoed during my college days while explaining before the examinations. At last I must thank MIET for giving this rookie a chance to deliver his wares.

Hoping for a successful session of teaching.

Amen!!!

Underpaid नेतालोग

Last week was quite eventful. Shashi-Sunanda (the just friends) married, Pakistan accepted Indian aid u(s)nder pressure, Sehwag hit a six that blew credibility and honesty of the whole Sri Lankan team, and etcetera etcetera. But the news which remained on the chartbusters was our own नेतालोग asking for a 500% pay hike!
In the last month and a half I have seen what factor salary plays in one’s life. So, I can completely understand the agony of the नेतालोग. They were truly underpaid by a huge margin. Even now they are short by a good 20001 rupees. It is really humiliating for the neta to get less than the babu. And that also by such a huge margin. Anyways they always get the credit for all good that happens through their overestimated underperforming ministries. If something (always) wrong happens, that is the fault of the common man, rotten system, opposition and the eternal and most loveable foreign hand. Even these excuses seldom give him the reprieve. He is the one who receives the brickbats and now even the shoes! (Garlands have become costly and people prefer to get rid of their old footwear in an effective way!) So, I believe it’s his eternal right to receive a higher pay than the babu who always stays away from the limelight. आखिर उनकी भी कोई इज़्जत है !
This is not the only reason why the pay should be hiked. The entourage that always surrounds a neta has to be fed and cared. It’s a simple everyday observation that the more delicious and aromatic the eatable is, the more flies it attracts. Similarly an MP is bound to have a lot many co-workers (चमचे). Now with the escalating costs every day, it is hard to feed these people. Government has dealt this issue nicely by using scientifically approved cost cutting techniques (decrease the number of employees) but then our dear 545 + 250 MPs are the best and different from the rest. So, common man’s techniques are undesirable in these circumstances!
People are raising a huge furore over the issue of their free travel facilities. But they must understand that the नेतालोग have to fly business class and travel AC-1st class for three obvious reasons. First, they are not cattle class. Second, their time is precious and shady deals needs to be done in confinement. Lastly, they have promised to return after 5 years. So, if they show their faces earlier than that, there would be questionnaire waiting for them from every passenger (read Voters) they meet. Moreover, if we start charging them, they have to do few more acts of social work (corruption) to cover their expenses. So, for the better good of the society it’s a welcome decision.
Also, the burden of the social work that they have taken really hurt their shoulders. In the service of the society, they waste themselves without caring for their health. They become overweight, develop ailment in every possible body part and become insomniac. So, a contingency fund has to be build up for them so that they can continue to serve the country till their very last.
Another trouble which has prompted our dear नेतालोग to ask for the pay hike is the unavailability of funds through the havala route. These mediawallahs are always against them. Whenever the नेतालोग try to do a ‘havala’, these mediawallahs do a ‘tehelka’. The IT-department is also not behind. The innocent नेतालोग are not even allowed to take gifts (बेचारी mayawati) and donations. They are charged the dreaded income-tax for the money they receive, which actually is the immense love shown by the common man. So, this time they decided to earn some tax-free money through legal means. So, why oppose!
Also, this has also shown the world the fast decision making capacity of our parliamentary system. Otherwise every bill goes through the देखते है, सोचते है, करेँगे, जल्दी क्या है phase. This also showed the harmony and unity among our नेतालोग. In case of any other bill, it’s so difficult to bring them together but this bill is a real winner. I hope the bill will be passed in one sitting. (Well done Laluji. It would have been difficult without you.)
पैसा ऐसा चीज़, ख़ुदा से उनीस बीस !
Jokes apart, the mockery that these people have done of our democracy is worth a concern. Let’s not forget this when we meet them again for the 2014 general elections.
Jai Hind!!!