Patriarchs or Just Chauvinists

This month my friend is getting married. While excitingly talking about the marriage, she told me that may be her name would be changed as per some marital rules. I reasoned with her that how can she accept it. Her name is her identity and why would she compromise to lose it. She told me that it was the custom and she had to respect it. I asked her whether or not her husband will change his name as well. She laughed at my suggestion and said that a man never does that!
Well, that’s the truth. The man never does anything in the society. All the sacrifices and compromises have to come from the feminine side. We are a patriarchal society and if somebody tries to voice concerns for the women, he is either laughed at or given the adjective, FEMINIST.
This patriarchal intervention is not present only in India but from Alaska to Australia and China to Chile. But it was not always the case. In the Old world, even though patriarchal society existed, the fairer sex had an equal say and respect. All old religions had goddesses which were not anymore part of the new ones, most of which grew as offshoots of older ones. Sita, Mandodri, Draupadi, Ahilya, Savitri, Anusuya were not only respected but were also equal partners to their counterparts in all respects. But the advent of the new millennia changed it all. More and more anti-women rules began to come. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the most hardcore religion in this matter is obviously Islam. I have not read Koran and have no idea what Allah has to say about the state of the women. But the so-called guardians sure have not painted a rosy picture in our minds. The western world was the first to come out of this Dark Age and have worked very hard to have an equal and liberal society. It’s not that they have completely succeeded but are obviously ahead of others. The Muslim world is still in Dark Ages and apart from few countries others are not coming forward enough.
Coming back to India, we find that even though cities have improved, the vast rural population still works according to the old order. Yeah, we have been able to abolish sati, decrease child marriage but many unanswered question still stay. Few of them are:
1) People go on conceiving one girl after girl in hope of a solitary boy. Why?
2) A girl has to miss school if her parents are poor even though her brother can go. Why?
3) Girl’s population in a school is never proportional to country’s sex ratio. Why?
4) There is a difference in their legal marriage ages. Why? (Biological reasons are bull shit!)
5) Marrying a younger woman is a rule while the reverse is a crime. Why?
6) Even though sati is abolished, a widow has to follow certain rules. It’s still a taboo to marry a widow. While for a widower no such rules exist. Why?
7) Girls have to change their surnames and sometimes even their names after marriage. The boy doesn’t have to. Why?
8) Sindoor, Mangalsutra, Shankha and other accessories have to be worn by the woman to show that they are married. We never see a man with any such symbols. Why?
It’s not only these questions. The disparity can be seen everywhere. One famous person once said that, “History is written by the conquerors!” In our society, men are the conquerors and they have framed rules as per their convenience. That’s why when a woman is having more than one relationship at one time, she is termed a slut but in case of a man he is just a flirt! Our forefathers laid down rules as per their convenience. The unequal caste system is another example in which the upper castes tormented and tortured the lower castes as per their will. These men who took upon them to be the guardians of the society were also the one responsible for demeaning the position of women in the society. Through generations this has continued. Although the satraps have now mellowed down but the heat still remains. That’s why fathers, brothers and husbands have the universal right over their daughters, sisters and wives. They want to rule them and decide what is good and what is bad for them.
Modern literature, media, cinema glorifies heroes but heroines don’t have any existence if she doesn’t have male company. Cinema has only song and crying sequence for the heroines. Why can’t she be given an equal opportunity? Very few like Indira Gandhi have been able to make a niche for her but even she had only male advisors. Until a few years ago even the prize money at the Grand-Slams were different. Closer home, while everyone knows the entire male cricket team along with its support staff, naming five women players would be difficult (even for BCCI)! These are just few examples. Disparity is a common occurrence.
The subjugation has been going for such long time that even women have accepted it to be their fate. Some even believe that it would be a sin not to accept these regulations. They not only do that themselves but also make others toe the line even if violence is required. And surprisingly it’s not limited to the illiterate! Sometimes literate people do such heinous activities to uphold the sovereignty of men that even God will be ashamed for creating them.
It’s high time; we stop promising and start delivering. Everyone has to pitch in with their individual efforts and dedication in this issue. Expecting help from the lawmakers will be foolishness. Those fellows can’t even provide 33% reservation for women and talk utter obscenely about the whole issue. They may even give into the demands by the Khaps and any other untoward demand that may be. Don’t forget that they are the flag-bearers of that part of the male society which has been producing these fanatic rules for ages. It’s only that they have changed names and shapes. Rest remains the same.
Please don’t forget it was a woman who brought you to this world and any feminine discrimination that the man can show because of his physical (God gifted) and social (created) superiority will be a direct abuse of her.