Fifth Gear

It's been ages since I wrote something. 

But since my son has started writing a diary now, father must do likewise 😜.

Locomotion has always been a problem for me and I have always taken more time than others to learn different modes of locomotion.

I learnt to walk almost one and a half years after my birth. I learnt to ride a bicycle when I was almost 12–13 years old. I learnt to ride a motorcycle after my postgraduation at the age of 25. And finally I learnt to drive a car just a year ago at the age of 38.

When I was young, I was very bad at playing bike and car racing games. I always wanted to go as fast as possible, but in doing so, I always lost my balance. When I started riding my bicycle and later on the motorcycle, the fantasy of driving fast never left me. I have tried to do so quite often on the roads as much as my human body could push the bicycle and the engine could pull the motorcycle. I was quite strong to never push my bicycle to Olympics standards (pun intended). My first motorcycle, Hero Honda Splendor NXG, was of 97cc and was good enough to be driven at 70-80 kmph in the first few years. But later it used to shake even at 50. Alas, when it was fit, I was afraid to attain such speeds so those 70-80 kmph rides happened maybe once or twice. And when I began to manage the speed, the bike couldn't!

It was when I bought my current bike, Honda X-Blade that I had the correct combination; a bike which could do 70-80 easily and a rider who could manage it. Also, the roads in Nagpur also improved during this period. I use my bike mostly for my commute to college and sometimes the car. But frankly speaking, as the days are going by, I hate to drive in the city. It's actually very boring and tiresome to change gears every few hundred metres. It's another matter that I am not big fan of gearless vehicles as well.

On Saturday morning, before the city wakes up properly, I have to reach college at 7:30 AM. I generally do this 8 km distance in little over 10 minutes which normally takes close to half an hour on other days. I enjoy this fifth gear ride very much. My son also has a penchant for speed. So, every week or at least once a fortnight, I take my car out for a ride outside the city where I don't have to change the gears. For kilometres, it is fifth gear only! Just a few days ago, we did 120 on Samruddhi Expressway for a few hundred kilometres at a stretch.

When I drive at high speeds in fifth gear, nowadays I don't experience any thrill or excitement. Instead, I get a calming effect. I feel at peace. This everyday hustle and bustle of life at times gets into my nerves. The urge to see what is in front, back, left or right decreases and the rides become enjoyable. These dopamine shots recharge my brain and help me to stay younger especially at heart.

I know life generally works between the third and the fourth gear, but till it permanently settles for the neutral, let me enjoy these fifth gear rides.

Majority Rules. Rethink!

About a month ago Tejashree, my student, remarked that if something wrong is endorsed by a majority it cannot be termed correct. Everybody present there acknowledged the fact but it escaped my mind and I forgot it. So I thought. Last Monday, while jumping a red signal I found majority of my fellow passengers doing the same and bang came the remark from Tejashree straight into my mind!

And along came certain incidents in the mind which are done by the majority but cannot be justified. Let’s have a look.

Ø  Majority of motorists jump red light. It facilitates if the policewallah is not there (I’m a habitual offender as well). It is illegal but since majority does it, should it be legalized?

Ø  Majority of us spit and throw garbage in public places. This is not only unhygienic but also uncultured. But since majority does it, should it be considered an act of hygiene and culture?

Ø  Majority of us give bribes to get our jobs done quickly. Again it is illegal but since majority does it, should it be legalized?

Ø  Majority of us love to take tobacco in some form or the other. Tobacco is a major reason for various ailments. But since majority does it, should it be considered that consumption of tobacco leads to better health?

Ø  Majority of us are jealous of success of others, known and unknown alike. Jealousy is not one of the virtues one expects to be present in one’s moral fabric. But since majority does it, should a rethink be done on the moral virtues one need to possess?

Ø  Majority of the students get marks in and around 50%. That means they don’t know almost half of what was taught or at least half of what was asked in the examination. But since majority does it, should 50 be considered the new 80?

If we were to answer these questions, majority will say NO. But then why are these repeatedly done by the same majority which does find them immoral & illegal?

So, what we find is that majority does not rule always!!! On a serious note since even a slim majority (not absolute (66.66) or even simple (50)) can get a wrong person or thing to be in the right place, we must chose correctly!

Chair Fever

Aspiration for a chair, both literally and symbolically, has been a human trait from time infinitum. And everyone is entitled to harbour such an aspiration and take steps to achieve it. The chair is surely a seat of supremacy. It separates one from the rest. It provides one with a platform where one can be on his own. The chair provides security and great power. And with great power comes great responsibilities.

George Bernard Shaw said,

Power doesn't corrupt man. Man corrupts power.

The chair, a seat of power, also tends to be corrupted by individuals who take the success straight to their cranium. When a man cannot cope with his new found success, he starts feeling all others around him to be inferiors and treats them as his slaves. This absolute abuse of power not only degrades him in the eyes of his subordinates but also in his own eyes, if he choses to introspect even once.

The succession of a colleague to the post of one's superior is not always met with exhiliration and jubilation. There is always a tinge of sadness and jealousy when that happens. But there is always a satisfaction and belief that as one amongst them has been raised he will try to solve the hardships, which he had suffered when he was a junior himself.

But more often that not it has been seen that the new "chairholder" forgets all about his past and tends to abuse his power. This trait of human nature is really beyond any comprehension!

It must be remembered that a given chair provides one with a certain set of powers in a certain organisational setup. Outside the setup everyone is a nobody. There one has equal opportunities as the other bystander. The dynamics are completely different there. There would be a chair supreme in that setup which may or may not approve of the supremacy of the other chair!

Remember life is a vicious circle and at the end of a day one is surely going to be paid back in the same coin that one has spent.

A chair provides one with a certain set of powers but its the "respect" which one craves for dearly. But this craving cannot be satisfied with vicious actions. It's not something which  can be begged or asked for. It can neither be snatched nor be looted. A person gets only that much respect as much he spends on others. The one and only way to get respect is to give respect. In any other case one is surely going to be doomed.

So, one must use the set powers attached to his/her chair wisely and respectfully because,

हम ही हम हैं तो क्या हम हैं

तुम ही तुम हो तो क्या तुम हो !

Change of Guard but Will Bengal Change?

34 long years later Bengal is set to get a new party at the Writers’ (Mahakaran). Mamata Banerjee has done what leaders from Siddharth Shankar Ray to Pranab Mukherjee have been trying to do so for long. They were up against a party which was just impossible to dislodge. The man from Indira Bhavan, Jyoti Basu, was the shrewdest adversary they had ever faced. Even after his retirement, he was a prominent force behind the CPI(M)’s gains in Bengal. At that time it seemed impossible to remove them from the Writers’. But the deaths of Jyoti Basu, Anil Biswas and Subhas Chakraborty have really affected the party and ultimately have led to such a downfall.

My uncle’s family has been staunch anti-CPI(M). My grandfather seldom used to eat without cursing the incumbent government. I found it amusing and used to ask him what the reason of his anger was. He explained to me that people of Bengal love intelligence, education and prosperity. While the CPI(M) leaders were highly educated themselves, they were hindering the paths of the educated youth who were not toeing their line. Adding insult to injury, they were also closing down industries, mostly small-scale, which could have taken Bengal to new heights of prosperity. This led to mass exodus of educated and uneducated, skilled and unskilled persons out of the state. Thus, Sonar Bangla (Golden Bengal) was turning into a garbage dump. And it was not only him but was the voice of many Bengalis who were living inside and outside Bengal. I reasoned with them if they were unhappy with the regime, why they don’t throw it out. They explained that CPI(M) was known to employ strong arm tactics and resorted to rigging during the elections. And hence it was impossible to remove them. And there rested the case.

In the last assembly elections, I was in Bengal. I am an ardent fan of Barun Sengupta, the late editor of Bartaman. He used to write elaborately about the misgivings of the government and how the public resented it and what they wanted was a change. Bengal was a case of trouble and even the Election commission accepted it as the last election was also a multi-round affair. Mr. Sengupta as well as all the Bengalis who wanted a change were sure that CPI(M) was to make an exit after 29 years. But the result stupefied us all. Not only the Left front won but it won with such a majority that the opposition was all but eliminated. Conventional rigging could not have taken place as the security arrangements were elaborate. Anti-CPI(M) people came with theories that “Scientific rigging” was the reason for the win. They said that the EVMs were tampered and whatever button you pressed the vote went to CPI(M)! Nothing could be proved but the joke about the tampered EVMs are doing this time as well. On Facebook you will find people commenting, “EVM gulo kharap chhilo” (EVMs were faulty)!

So, the result of 2006 proved one thing that CPI(M) were irreplaceable for whatever reasons that existed. But then Mamata came with her “Maa, Maati, Maanush” (Mother, Land and People) slogan and a successful Singur agitation helped her dent the prospects of CPI(M) in the 2009 Lok Sabha elections. From that time, it was becoming apparent that a change was inevitable. Her stint as railway minister where she doled out sops to her home state helped her as well. But still there was a chance that CPI(M) could have stopped it’s derailment. Nobody knows Bengal better than them and nobody knows better than them how to rule Bengal! Also the Rajas and the Kalmadis provided enough opportunities to exploit (AIADMK has removed DMK on that factor) but it seems the death of the aforesaid leaders have crippled them beyond recovery. Mr. Karat would now need to answer a lot of questions as they have lost Kerala by a whisker as well.

“Badla noi Badal chai” (We want change and not revenge) were doing the rounds and they have got what they wanted. For the next 5 years they are officially going to be there. But now the million-taka question is that whether the new fellows will be able to rotate the wheels of prosperity which have been stationery and stuck for so long. Will the mass exodus of Bengali intelligentsia stop? Will the common man get better living conditions? Will the industries reopen? Will Bengal be back among the top states of India? Will Bengal change? Will Bengal again become “Sonar Bangla “?

13 has proved to be a unlucky number for CPI(M). Hope it doesn’t prove to be unlucky for the Bengalis. Let’s hope that they have not replaced one daemon with other.

Jai Bangla!!!

Small Town Rules: The Mahi Way

I’ve thought of writing this piece for long. But the South Africa debacle at Nagpur made me sit on this topic for this long. Now, as we’ve done the unbelievable, I’m free to use the title especially the one after the colon. I can’t still believe that we have won the World Cup ! The cup has been won because of the combined efforts of the whole team but the leadership of Mahendra Singh Dhoni aka Mahi aka “Wizard of Ranchi” stands in a league of its own. His attitude, success and the approach are the actual inspiration behind this article.

In this country, prosperity and the paths to achieve it are mostly concentrated in few densely populated urban regions we better know as cities. There has been a mass exodus from the villages and small towns to the megacities in search of better education and employment. But I’m not concerned about this wide scale emigration. I’m concerned about the mentality which has been dubbed as, “Small town mentality”.

More than often it has been seen that when a person from a small town reaches a city he becomes susceptible of his own abilities. He is afraid to express himself. Maybe due to living in un-opportunistic locales have made them what they are. The lack of ambitions and the efforts to fulfill one, if any, brings self-inferiority and is the chief difference between a city dweller and a small town guy.

In the recent India-SA match at Nagpur, many were mesmerized by the new VCA stadium at Jamtha (It was the only non-capital city to host a match). Many asked Shashank Manohar, BCCI chief, that even though Nagpur has such a world class stadium why it has failed to produce a player of national repute. Mr. Manohar replied that it has to do with the attitude of the people of the region. They are content with whatever they get. This lack of aspiration is not just true for Nagpur but for all the small towns and villages dotted across the country. When you don’t aspire, your interest to perspire also reduces. And without perspiration there is no jubilation.

Another aspect of city life is the crowd. And here I don’t mean it only in the literal sense but also in the metamorphic sense as well. This “fight for survival” makes most of the city dwellers robust and their approach to life is one of to gain success at any cost. I’m not of the view that we should resort to unethical ways to achieve success but ethically permissible actions should be taken to achieve whatever we can.

And here is where I come back to Mahi. He has changed the way the country look towards persons from small towns. Now the people are saying that there is lot of talent in the small towns which need to be tapped. It’s not that the talent was not there (Statistically it has to be as 80-85% of the country lives outside the cities) but he is one of the factors to bring it forward. If he has been able to achieve so much it’s not only because of his hard work but also because he is not content and his Dil maange more.

So, let’s take a cue from him & never feel as underdogs. I would like to quote Ghalib here,

मत पूछ की क्या हाल है मेरा तेरे आगे |

तू देख के क्या रंग है तेरा मेरे आगे ||

Small towns give a heart full of love, compassion, benevolence and brotherhood and add to it a tough, resolute aspiring brain and see where we reach !!!

Inner Circle

Two things that I read in the past week made me write this blog.

Firstly, Warren Buffet in a recent interview said that it’s always better to be with people who are superior in attitude as compared to you. It always helps you to become like them i.e. better.

Secondly, I was reading a book, “Hitler and the Nazi leaders” by John Lattimer. The book is on the psychological analysis of the Nazis tried in the Nuremberg trial of 1945. What I perceived from the book is that no doubt Hitler was an evil but he was well misguided by his inner circle of Goring, Ribbentrop, Himmler, Bormann and others. They not only supported him in his endeavours of peril but most of the times aggravated the situation by suggesting ideas which were oblivious to even Hitler!

Now let’s take the case of Chandrashekhar Azad. His inner circle was the pillars of strength on whose support he was able to convert his brilliant ideas into successes. So has been the case in many other stories told and untold.

So, what we observe is that the inner circle has a great influence on one’s actions and thinking. So it becomes duly important in one’s part to select his inner circle wisely.

A good inner circle always helps in keeping our actions checked and doesn’t allow us to stray from our destined correct path. They constantly remind us of the consequences of what may happen when we go wrong and if needed bring us to our senses by resorting to rebukes. They encourage us in our successes and help us to achieve greater heights in our life. The immense contribution and support they bring in is immeasurable and can’t be paid back.

A wrong inner circle of friends will not only discourage in harder times but will certainly lead us to doom when we take even a small step in the wrong direction. Most often they will expedite it instead of braking!

It is the human nature to be praised and chaperoned. No one likes his actions and thinking to be questioned leave alone be challenged. Because of this inherent nature, we tend to populate our inner circle with persons who never say no to anything we do. Others who are well-wishers but speak with their tongue-in-cheek attitude phase out of our lives. Alas, it’s so true for almost everyone we know!

It must be kept in mind that we don’t have any control in selecting our blood relations but we certainly have the utmost control on whom we can consider to be our near ones, the persons of the inner circle who always support in distress and encourage in success.

So, let’s exercise our right wisely and become “better” as Buffet suggested.

The Corrupted Life

2G, CWG, ISRO, Radia,…., scam, scam, scam everywhere. The situation is such that whenever you open a day’s newspaper it’s either an Arab uprising in some Tahrir square or a new Indian scam bigger and exorbitant than the last one. Even the PM has accepted that scams do exist at the higher levels and Indian politics is getting murkier with every passing day because of coalition (a)dharma. And the biggest loser is the exchequer who is losing without even knowing about the beneficiaries and the benefits. So, a common man has all the rights in the world to abuse the hideous beneficiaries. But is the common man corruption free ???

So, I thought why not think about the amount of little corruptions, the “चाय पानी ”, the exchequer does in his life. Let’s start from his birth or say little before the birth..

Just before his birth, generally the father has to shelve a few tenners to get good service at the nursing home where the exchequer is to be born. After the birth, another few hundreds and a few tenners have to be provided to facilitate the birth certificate from the local municipality, corporation or the panchayat as the case may be. Whatever be the size of your locale, the money has to flow out of your pockets! Then a few years go without any trouble. As soon as the kid becomes eligible for the kindergarten, the parents have to go through an agonizing interview and whether they clear it or not they have to provide the capitation fee to a tune of few thousands to get the school of their choice. The same procedure is repeated when the kid has to go from kindergarten to primary school. The school life one can say to be the life of least corruption. The 10 years of school life is the time when one’s conscience and morals have a clean slate.

Come class XIIth, the whole country’s youth will rush to the local bodies for certificates of domicile, caste, validity, income and what else. And as we all know, all these will be completed only when provided with the facilitation money. And that is what we do to get them done. If one is not lucky his admission to the college of his choice is again achieved only after paying the required capitation fee. After getting the degree, a lot of ‘setting’ both in terms of money as well as contacts has to be done to land in the job of our choice. Even after getting the job, the bribes continue to get the required promotions. In day to day life, ‘चाय पानी ’ has to be provided for getting trivial jobs like getting a railway ticket to getting your plumbing done. And don’t ask what we have to pay through to get jobs like getting a telephone connection to be done swiftly and easily. Such is the world that the bribe doesn’t leave you even after your death. Your kin has to pay up to get your death certificate swiftly so that you can be cremated peacefully!

This act of getting our job done easily and swiftly, we resort to every day bribery in our life in form of ‘चाय पानी ’, capitation fee, facilitation fee or by any other name. So, when some uncommon among the we commons reach the top posts they can’t resist their natural way of asking and paying and land up with such big scams !!!!!!

One of my colleague rightly says that it’s time to add another monkey to Gandhiji’s existing “Hear No Evil”, “See No Evil” and “Speak No Evil” monkeys. And this monkey would be “Think No Evil”! Hope so that may reduce the evil of bribery if not completely eradicate it.

What's A Good Teacher !

The three best things that I’ve learnt from my teachers over the years about the student-teacher relationships are as chronicled below: 

1)      A teacher is most happy when his ward exceeds him in the successes attained. – Prof. R. K. Pathak, Dept. of Physics, University of Pune. 

2)      The students are the most neglected entity in the academic system. – Prof. C. K. Desai, Bajaj Science Centre, Wardha. 

3)      Teaching is the profession which helps you to stay young as you are surrounded by the youth all your life. – Prof. A. A. Saakle, Dharampeth Science College, Nagpur.

If a teacher can achieve the first and avoid the second, he can enjoy the third to the fullest.

Let us start with the second. It has always been seen that apart from a few academically brilliant students, all others are mostly not given proper attention they require. The teacher is mostly preoccupied with the smart guys and is partial to them in one or more ways possible. But the other not-so-academically-bright students do have other qualities which can be groomed and encouraged. I personally believe that if a person is smart and industrious in developing at least one of his qualities, not necessarily academic, he can do enough justice to other aspects of his life as well. Now it is upto someone to just encourage him. Parents by large are always encouraging but they are so close to us that many a times we don’t consider their opinion to be worthwhile. Here a good observant and helpful teacher can make the difference! I was very fortunate to hear Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam recently. On the behaviour expected from a teacher he said that until and unless a teacher thinks his student to be his brother, sister, son, daughter, grandson or granddaughter, he would never be able to teach well. How correct is he!

Coming to the first, it is very important for a teacher to cherish achievements of his wards in every walk of life. If he is not able to do that, it has to be believed that he is too proud of his knowledge and such pride is sure to bring a fall. A jump of joy, a word of praise or a pat on the back can create wonders. So always be prepared to do that.

The third aspect is quite a wide one. Youth I believe is not a state of our body but a state of our mind. And a mind stays youthful when it is active and ready to accept new ideas. Teaching, like any other profession, spans over quite a few decades of one’s life. In this ever changing world, it is a pre-requisite that we keep on with time or we would be like stagnant water in a pool. Remember stagnant water stinks and nobody likes stink. A good teacher is one who remains a student for all his life. One of my colleagues rightly puts that ‘Knowledge + Experience = Wisdom’. A teacher obviously has the knowledge and with experience he can achieve wisdom which he in turn can impart to his students. And experience doesn’t just come with age, it comes with continuous learning. If one can achieve this wisdom, he will never turn old!

Continuing with Dr. Kalam; he said that when a wise teacher enters a classroom, he is surrounded by an aura around him. It seems as if knowledge is radiating from him. It’s a pity that we see such an aura around only a few teachers. Such a teacher is revered by all and acts as a source of inspiration to his students. He also held the primary school teachers in very high esteem. According to him, the three most important persons in the life of a human being are his parents and the primary school teacher. He also quoted that what a person learns in the first years of his life stays with him for his entire life. He also added that neither God nor the devil could change the kid after that.

I myself believe in this as most of my habits were sown in that age which are ripe and being cultivated now. If you introspect, you will find it true for you as well. I’m lucky to have excellent parents but I’m luckier that I’ve had teachers who have guided and showered love all through my student life. They were always there when I needed them. Along with my parents, they have helped me to become what I am today. Kabir has rightly said that the teacher is no less than God in the following couplet:

गुरु गोबिन्द दोउ खड़े काके लागूँ पाँय |
बलिहारी गुरु आपने गोबिन्द दियो बताय ||

I myself try to imitate my teachers when I teach. I hope I will be successful in imparting at least 10% of whatever I’ve learnt from my teachers to my students.

What's In A Name? It's All In The Surname!

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

This immortal statement was written by Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet and thence has been an outright hit all through. From time to time, it has been quoted in various contexts all across the world in a variety of occasions. I’ve also taken the utmost liberty in using the same for this piece.

In the play, Juliet Capulet said this when she wanted to emphasize that she loved Romeo the person and not Romeo Montague the name. Even though Montague was a rich and influential family, she didn’t bother about them. She was just happy to be in love with Romeo, the person, and would have loved him even if he was from any other class or section of the society.

But how wrong she was! The society doesn’t adhere to the rules laid down by the free-spirits. It does believe in the institution of surnames (family name and title are the other synonyms). You can be anything but your surname will decide the consequences of your actions. You can be a dark haired, fair skinned, nicely built handsome man. But your surname will divulge your secret and you will be categorized as a Mexican or an Italian or a Pathan. And the categorization will not stop here. Next stop will be your religion, your faith, your community, your caste, your creed and what else! People will decipher your secrets faster than Sherlock Holmes. He at least observed some traits to make his deduction. They will do it with just the surname! (I myself am not different. I also deduce the same way!)

 I remember a debate in my college where a girl said that until the day she filled her class Xth exam form, she was unaware of the surnames and hence was oblivious to the caste and religion of most of her classmates. She knew them by their names only. But that her world changed. Now she knew who was a Hindu and who was a Muslim, who was a SC and who was an OBC. And all the prejudices that are associated with each and every caste, creed and religion come forthright face to face. The individual recedes into the background and he is judged by the action of the fellow brethren from his community (कौम), caste (जात) or religion (धर्म). It has happened so many times with us when we have labeled a Muslim to be a terrorist, a Marwari to be a miser and a Tamil to be Self-Centered. Just because of a few of them, the whole clan is abused.

And this is just not the story of me, my parents, my relatives and my friends. It is the story of all the organisms on this planet who consider them to be humans and hence superior to everyone around them. It is so ingrained into our system that we cannot free ourselves from this mindset at all. In our country everything from winning an election to getting a BPL card has come down to the surnames. Our politics has descended to caste vote bank politics instead of the idealistic pro-governance and pro-people or even the more practiced populist party level politics. People will ask your surnames first and depending on the likeability of your surname they will proceed to your name. But your acceptability will solely depend on your prestigious surname. It will only decide the further course of actions.

But think of a world without surnames! (No. I’m not asking to leave them. Just don’t bias others and centre yourself on them.) Sahir Ludhianvi wrote:

अच्छा  है अभी तक तेरा कुछ नाम नहीं है |

तुझको  किसी  मज़हब से कोई काम नहीं है |

People will love and hate (I believe hate has to be a part of life) each other on their virtues and vices and not on the basis of their respective communion. There would be more person to person interaction instead of the now practiced group to group interaction. At least one dose would be given to the bias ridden sick society of ours. I don’t believe we will be able to include our elders in this but at least the youth can participate and give a fair society to the next generation. Even if you can’t practice at least please think over it!

One Month In Office

(सोचा था की जब पहली salary मिलेगी तब यह article लिखेंगे लेकिन अब सोचते हैं की फिर कब लिखेंगे! Because salary तो भविष्य के गर्भ में चली गयी है, पता नहीं कब आएगी!)

11th of August, I finished one month at my job. I’ve mentioned earlier that my last trial at a job lasted just 2 days so this is indeed a remarkable feat (Given the fact that I’m not particularly very satisfied with the job that I have now)!
As I’ve written before that now I’m a lecturer (Assistant Professor in college rolls) at MIET, Shahapur, Bhandara and will be teaching(?) Physics to students of First year BE. It would be untrue if I say that I was overjoyed to get this job. My idea of a job, for the last few years, has revolved around research. I wanted to join a premier research institute for my PhD and then join over there itself or somewhere else and be with research for the rest of the days, I can manage to survive on mother earth. I would be the undisputed boss of my life and would be paid handsomely with money, respect and satisfaction. But it was not to be. So I went for my next love, teaching.
12th of July when I went to JM Patel College, Bhandara, I had no idea that I’d be starting my lecturer’s duty that very day. So, when Dafre sir asked me to write the “Letter of Joining”, I couldn’t believe my ears and had to ask him twice whether or not he was saying exactly the same thing that I had heard.
And from that day started a new innings. I had to learn new ways to fit myself into the new order that was beckoning me. As soon as I reached the college, the guard at the gate asked me about my purpose of visit. When I told him that I was a newly appointed lecturer, he immediately saluted me. I was shocked as this was the first time someone had done something like that to me. From that day on this has been a regular practice, taking namastes, salutes, Good Mornings from guards, non-teaching staff and my colleagues. Even though I’m saying colleagues, I’m the second most junior on the list. The next young guy is 5 years older. The youngest is only 15 days younger to me. But since he has one year experience, he is treated as a compatriot while I’m treated as a kid. They are always there to take care of me and guide me and readily point out my mistakes. I’ve also learned and absorbed so much from them. They have been in this field for quite a long time and I’m learning the tricks of the trade from them. Especially I’m fond of Fandi sir and Shende sir.
But the man who holds all of us awestruck is Nema sir. He is 61 and has retired from WCL. But the fire within him is more than any of us. He defies his age with astounding energy levels which makes us ashamed because of our inability to match with him pace to pace. Not only physically but also mentally he is young. He will generally think what we GEN-Y think! Especially his use of technology and computers has made all of us his ardent fans. I always love talking to him and 1 hour spent with him gives you a year of wisdom. His vision is far more clear than most of the others associated with the institute. Even if I don’t gain anything, his companionship will be an achievement for the entire life.
This one month included 26 days of inaction and 5 days of admission rounds. Both the phases taught me important lessons. The days of inaction were very long and tedious. It was after a long time that I was travelling every day. 4 hours of travelling everyday has made me immune to ST buses that I don’t like as a mode of communication. After reaching Jawaharnagar, we have to endure the agony of travelling in the rickety six-seaters (It’s just the name. It is actually a 10-11-12 seater). And then starts the long day in which the only productive work is LUNCH! We chat, watch movies on my laptop, roam here and there, just sit idle, and even sleep but even then the day doesn’t seem to end! It really has improved my patience, endurance, sleeping powers, talking powers and my knowledge on many subjects both sense and nonsense. At quarter to five, we start getting ready and at five to five we go for our end-correction (signing the attendance register) so that we can leave exactly at 5!
The 5 days of admission were more energy consuming but at last we had something to do. We even worked on the Sunday, thanks to DTE. Our monochromatic life now had some colour as so many people came with so many different types of queries. It’s always lovely to meet people and help them with their troubles. But this time the meetings had me on the other side of the table for the first time. Instead of being counselled, I was the counsellor. I was really enjoying my seat of power. Variety of people came from different places. Some were dumb, some smart and some oversmart. Many were afraid, some confident and some overconfident. They had queries from hostel to fees to infrastructure to lecturers to …… We were to answer everything satisfactorily keeping in view that any student entering through the door should not return back. His admission had to be confirmed. Other teachers were experienced in this matter while I was a greenhorn. But I believe I did my job to near perfection. There were times when the heart was saying to slap and swear the guy in front of me but I kept smiling and got him admitted as well. There were times when making the fellow understand my point of view was next to impossible but I somehow managed. I always thought these counsellors are overpaid and overestimated. But it’s true that without sitting on the Hot Seat, nobody can feel and understand the heat. I sometimes deviated from the path but others pulled me through. I’m proud to say that we managed to bag 88 seats in the very first round even though the college was new and had made very little publicity (We have students from Mumbai to Salekasa). Those five days greatly improved my public conversational skills (I must thank my Pune gang, especially Aradhana, without whom I’d never have learnt the art of public speaking).
Another thing that I’d to change was my attire. For the last seven years I’ve never tucked my shirt in and wore my shoes irregularly. My dressing sense is a complete faux-pas. Here I’ve to bath every morning and then prepare myself for the whole day. If the college authorities stick with what they have said then I’ve to wear light coloured shirts, dark coloured pants, shoes and tie for the rest of the year and maybe soon learn some dressing sense as well. (I hope I soon get a research job and be able to wear my kurta or T-shirt with my bermuda coupled with my chappals!)
Even though I was thrilled to be part of such a big education society, I’m not fully satisfied with the work conditions. I know my utopian vision of an educational institution is an impossibility but still let’s hope I get at least 20% of what I think is needed.
Next wish is quick delivery of our salary so that I can buy things on my list which I planned even before getting this job!
And last but not the last wish is your cooperation, help, blessings and love for a successful life.

Job: To Be or Not To Be

When I was young, I thought that for getting a job astounding qualifications was the sole criteria. As I grew towards jobhood, I found out that in case of insufficient qualifications, contacts (setting) and even bribes have to be incorporated into the CV! I had no contacts and nothing to bribe. Morally I’m against it and even if I succumbed, monetarily it was impossible. So, I decided to embark on the path of attaining the best qualifications needed for a satisfying job.
2005 was a great year. I was in BSc(Final) and was undecided about my next step. My college profs sent me for an interview for a IT job at MBT (now TechMahindra). I went there empty minded just to attend it. But, in the evening I was among the four who got the job. In another month or so I accompanied my friends for another interview to Infosys Progeon (now Infosys BPO) and landed up with that job as well. By the end of the session, I had decided to move my ass to Pune for Masters in Physics with Astrophysics as my specialization. I couldn’t fulfill my wish that year and just out of frustration went for the BPO job. I didn’t like it and left in just 2 days! Next year I fulfilled my wish and went for my masters to Pune. In two years, the idea of job and for that matter earning large sums of money by grinding my ass was summarily rejected by me. I decided to dedicate my life (big words!!!) for research. So, I started applying to all national level institutes for PhD. I cleared some entrances but always fell at the last hurdle (interviews)!
By June 2010, it was totally clear that I wasn’t to be enrolled for PhD this session or even later. By luck, I have a nice AIR25 in NET(LS) examination. So, I decided to exploit it for a teaching job.
I started to gather information about the requirements and emoluments about my prospective job. I found out that teaching in a Science college in Nagpur will suit my taste but not my pocket! The colleges which would match my taste were in areas that didn’t match my taste. So, I had only one option and that was to join an engineering college. Pay was good and that was one of the basic requirements. Having fixed my mind, I started applying to various engineering colleges in and around Nagpur. In the meantime, I kept emailing Science colleges in Pune and Mumbai. St. Xaviers, Mumbai surprisingly called me for the interview. But as luck would have it, the call letter came very late on a Friday evening for the subsequent afternoon’s interview. I couldn’t go and missed a great opportunity. I kept viewing ‘aspire’ columns in Lokmat and in other Newspapers. One college was happy to have me for the interview but told me that it was unhealthy for them and me if I joined them. They cited that I would not stay for long given my qualifications and that would not be good for them. They also added that they can’t pay me the deserved pay and that would be an unsatisfactory start for my ‘would be illustrious career’.
I got rejected by 2 other colleges on the same flimsy reasons. I was contemplating about my decision when I suddenly saw an interview for MIET, Shahapur. The college belong to Gondia Education Society, chair manned by Mr. Praful Patel. I had no hope of getting a job even there. But, since the interview was at Hotel Centre Point (near to my house), I went there. But surprises are a part and parcel of life. 4:30 PM, Saturday, 10th July 2010, I gave the interview and in less than 23 hours I was on the faculty list of the college with a promised pay of 15K.
Since, 12th July, I’m attending college. Life has played the tricks. I’m working where I never wanted to be in the first place. I travel daily 2 hours one-way for my job and still am surprisingly healthy both physically and mentally. Maybe getting a job has given my mind the required energy to focus on my unfinished endeavours.
Since, the admissions are yet to happen, we have nothing much to do (I wrote this blog in college time)! This would be first time in my life when I would be paid for doing absolutely nothing.
I pray to God for a successful run in my subsequent adventures in the job world.

Patriarchs or Just Chauvinists

This month my friend is getting married. While excitingly talking about the marriage, she told me that may be her name would be changed as per some marital rules. I reasoned with her that how can she accept it. Her name is her identity and why would she compromise to lose it. She told me that it was the custom and she had to respect it. I asked her whether or not her husband will change his name as well. She laughed at my suggestion and said that a man never does that!
Well, that’s the truth. The man never does anything in the society. All the sacrifices and compromises have to come from the feminine side. We are a patriarchal society and if somebody tries to voice concerns for the women, he is either laughed at or given the adjective, FEMINIST.
This patriarchal intervention is not present only in India but from Alaska to Australia and China to Chile. But it was not always the case. In the Old world, even though patriarchal society existed, the fairer sex had an equal say and respect. All old religions had goddesses which were not anymore part of the new ones, most of which grew as offshoots of older ones. Sita, Mandodri, Draupadi, Ahilya, Savitri, Anusuya were not only respected but were also equal partners to their counterparts in all respects. But the advent of the new millennia changed it all. More and more anti-women rules began to come. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the most hardcore religion in this matter is obviously Islam. I have not read Koran and have no idea what Allah has to say about the state of the women. But the so-called guardians sure have not painted a rosy picture in our minds. The western world was the first to come out of this Dark Age and have worked very hard to have an equal and liberal society. It’s not that they have completely succeeded but are obviously ahead of others. The Muslim world is still in Dark Ages and apart from few countries others are not coming forward enough.
Coming back to India, we find that even though cities have improved, the vast rural population still works according to the old order. Yeah, we have been able to abolish sati, decrease child marriage but many unanswered question still stay. Few of them are:
1) People go on conceiving one girl after girl in hope of a solitary boy. Why?
2) A girl has to miss school if her parents are poor even though her brother can go. Why?
3) Girl’s population in a school is never proportional to country’s sex ratio. Why?
4) There is a difference in their legal marriage ages. Why? (Biological reasons are bull shit!)
5) Marrying a younger woman is a rule while the reverse is a crime. Why?
6) Even though sati is abolished, a widow has to follow certain rules. It’s still a taboo to marry a widow. While for a widower no such rules exist. Why?
7) Girls have to change their surnames and sometimes even their names after marriage. The boy doesn’t have to. Why?
8) Sindoor, Mangalsutra, Shankha and other accessories have to be worn by the woman to show that they are married. We never see a man with any such symbols. Why?
It’s not only these questions. The disparity can be seen everywhere. One famous person once said that, “History is written by the conquerors!” In our society, men are the conquerors and they have framed rules as per their convenience. That’s why when a woman is having more than one relationship at one time, she is termed a slut but in case of a man he is just a flirt! Our forefathers laid down rules as per their convenience. The unequal caste system is another example in which the upper castes tormented and tortured the lower castes as per their will. These men who took upon them to be the guardians of the society were also the one responsible for demeaning the position of women in the society. Through generations this has continued. Although the satraps have now mellowed down but the heat still remains. That’s why fathers, brothers and husbands have the universal right over their daughters, sisters and wives. They want to rule them and decide what is good and what is bad for them.
Modern literature, media, cinema glorifies heroes but heroines don’t have any existence if she doesn’t have male company. Cinema has only song and crying sequence for the heroines. Why can’t she be given an equal opportunity? Very few like Indira Gandhi have been able to make a niche for her but even she had only male advisors. Until a few years ago even the prize money at the Grand-Slams were different. Closer home, while everyone knows the entire male cricket team along with its support staff, naming five women players would be difficult (even for BCCI)! These are just few examples. Disparity is a common occurrence.
The subjugation has been going for such long time that even women have accepted it to be their fate. Some even believe that it would be a sin not to accept these regulations. They not only do that themselves but also make others toe the line even if violence is required. And surprisingly it’s not limited to the illiterate! Sometimes literate people do such heinous activities to uphold the sovereignty of men that even God will be ashamed for creating them.
It’s high time; we stop promising and start delivering. Everyone has to pitch in with their individual efforts and dedication in this issue. Expecting help from the lawmakers will be foolishness. Those fellows can’t even provide 33% reservation for women and talk utter obscenely about the whole issue. They may even give into the demands by the Khaps and any other untoward demand that may be. Don’t forget that they are the flag-bearers of that part of the male society which has been producing these fanatic rules for ages. It’s only that they have changed names and shapes. Rest remains the same.
Please don’t forget it was a woman who brought you to this world and any feminine discrimination that the man can show because of his physical (God gifted) and social (created) superiority will be a direct abuse of her.

Sister: That I Don’t Have

I’m back from the trip from Bengal with memories of the trip still weighing in my mind. The trip has caused several effects on my mind. But one that has affected me the most is the fact that I don’t have a sister of my own!
In several of my blogs, I’ve mentioned that I hated the feminine gender. But lately I’ve realized my mistake. But still the need for a sister didn’t arise. I was happy with my very few feminine friends. But this trip changed it all.
I’ve a maternal sister, Bidisha, whom I didn’t like very much before. This time around I felt affection and love towards her right from minute 1. But what made me emotional enough to write this stuff are the sisters of Sanjay, Kingshuk & Anustuv; my friends whom I visited. The camaraderie these guys share with their sisters is phenomenal. The love, peace, tranquility, help, encouragement these fellows enjoy because of their respective sisters (they don’t even realize what they are having because it has become an everyday affair to have the sister for them) made me jealous to the core of my heart.
Even though I’ve a great younger brother, a sister, preferably younger or even older, would have been nevertheless excellent. My brother has wished for a sister for a very long time. He is lucky to have a girl who is a great sister to him. And he takes care of her like her own brother. We have one Rakhi sister but after her marriage the contact has declined to a bare minimum. And I’m not ashamed to say that I didn’t have any sibling feeling for her which I certainly have for Bidisha, even when I didn’t like her very much. I’m not a guy who can have sibling feelings outside my blood relations.
It’s my personal view that girls are more intelligent, reliable, supportive & understanding than their male counterparts. If in trouble, I always like to have views of a lady as it is generally correct and most importantly different than what I think. Seldom will a man have a different view. Also, they are good listeners and have an indefinable comforting aura surrounding them. Till now I have shared all my troubles, views, solutions, grief, happiness with my mother but there are certain things which can be shared with a person of same age only. And what better person it would be than your own sister! I believe a sister would have been a great stress buster. Her mere smile would have ended lot of my troubles.
I am a person who is hungry for love and care. I love to be pampered and I certainly love to pamper. And the pampering is always effective in persons of opposite sex. So, while sons are their mother’s darlings, daughters are more pampered by their fathers. Similarly, brother-sister relationships are stronger than brother-brother or sister-sister bonding. Although I like to pamper my brother, I would certainly have pampered my sister more. I would have bought gifts for her during all festivities and especially during Rakhi and Bhai-Duj. These are the festivals when I feel the loneliest. I believe if I had a sister, I would have been more social, more human, more understanding, more caring and more …. And yes I would have the elusive girl-friend as well… Fulfilling her demands would have given me a certain divine pleasure.

If I’m lucky enough to get married and then blessed enough to have a child, I would like it to be a daughter!!!!

The Friendship Algorithm

Dr. Sheldon Cooper invented an algorithm to find friends. Although no such thing can actually exist, I kinda liked the name. Earlier, Sunil Gavaskar has written books like Idols & Sunny Days giving details of his compatriot cricketers and Farhan Akhtar has created a film, Dil Chahta Hai, on his friends. But I’m neither a writer nor a creative director. So, that leaves me writing this treatise chronicling my friends. Please feel free to write about me....

AMONI MONDAL:
Amoni aka Dhritiman Mondal is the one who has endured for the longest time with me. Coming July we will complete 19 years of friendship. I met him first in Std. I at Shirinbai Neterwala School, Maneck Nagar, Tumsar. He was a chubby kid with a stammer in his tongue. To be frank, this stammer only bought him closer to everyone. He had huge difficulty in talking but that never slowed him down. He had fitness issues and a slight bout of Asthma as well. But Amoni is a fighter and he has overcome all these odds. One more reason of his popularity was that he was the nephew of our teacher Sil Madam, who was slightly unpopular due to her strictness. But she is really cool, peaceful, loveable and a very good cook!
Although we had professional rivalry (Examination results), he and I continued be the best of the friends. One great thing about him is that he takes all the jibes along and never ever shows any displeasure. Let it be his stammer or his somewhat incorrigible stories, he has been the centre of jokes for long. But I have never seen him getting angry and getting overboard. In school, he was my very good friend and the only one who visited my house.
We don’t have the closest of the relationships and is not at all a Jai-Veeru friendship. We didn’t share some exclusive cherishable moments and were not party to some unforgettable events. There were others who were more close to me but alas they are not there now but Mondal stayed. One thing I must say, I’m very partial to him and generally overlook his sometimes overbearing attitude.
After 10th, I went to Bengal and he to Morshi, Amravati. We lost contact. But as soon as we returned back to Nagpur for graduation, the contact resumed. Most of my friends cut contacts as soon as they joined engineering but he didn’t. He would visit me at least twice a week and introduced me to some of the fiefdoms of engineering including the Telangkhedi Mandir. After his engineering, he went to Kolkata & I to Pune for my PG. His calls were infrequent but we stayed in touch. But he couldn’t stay longer there and came straight to Pune. Again the meetings and contacts resumed.
It would not be wrong to say that he is my sweetest friend and I would be hurt the most if he one day turns his back and never to say a Hi to me again!

KAUSTUBH AKANT:
I met Kaustubh first in Std. I but our friendship really kicked off in Std. V or VI. We were a group of 4, me, Harish, him and Chandan. We ate together during lunch and had long talkathons on topics spread over a variety of topics straight from studies to sex. In class 10th, he sat next to me and we had a lot of fun.
He is a good player and played almost all games with ease. He had the habit of leaving our cricket games to play basketball with senior girls. He was quite popular and that counts the girls as well. He is highly sociable, unlike me, and can make anyone at ease in matter of minutes and hence never had a dearth of friends.
During graduation, his home was a popular haunt for watching movies and matches. He is also responsible for my friendship with 3 of his good friends, Aditya, Kshitij & Aniket. We had loads of fun during those years. A joke amongst us was that Gandhi Buddha i.e. him will have to marry a girl of his parent’s choice because he would never be able to flirt a girl. But he defied all predictions and is the only one with a real girl friend and mind you a great one. The contact remained strong in Pune as well. His house is where I stayed until I got my hostel and yeah he was my local guardian during my entire post graduation.
He is a cool guy who has adapted himself to precincts of the society. He has this great quality of marching forwarding without looking behind at all. He is a guy who believes in future and always locks the past and throws the keys and never searches for them. Although it’s not what my doctor ordered, but seeing his success I sometimes think about trying the medication.
But of late, our relationship has not been the same as before. It’s nobody’s fault but communication has decreased and the relationship has not remained so warm as before. I hope it’s a transition phase and all will be well soon.


ARIJIT GHOSH:
I first met Arijit in Std XI in the hostels of Holy Home, Serampore, on the pretext of borrowing money to register myself for my Computer Science class. We were only on talking terms before the closely knit friendship actually kicked off. Computer Science classes, Cricket, Sanjay and story books brought us closer. We were both avid readers and my love for Sherlock Holmes & Sidney Sheldon is due to this very guy. He was quite affable and was a veteran in terms of being in a hostel. I learnt many things from him and my stay in Holy Home was enjoyable, pleasing and comfortable because of him being one of the factors. He was the gateway which led to my subsequent friendships with Sanjay and Baishishtha. We did play an important role in many of the mischief’s, the one with the fire extinguisher being the most dangerous, or our excursions to the fifth floor to look across the courtyard towards the girl’s hostel but we were always let scot free because of our good academic and behavioural record. We were especially close to Rajkamal Sir, who once during one visit had let us go saying that he took complete responsibility of us being untainted! (We in reality are verry goood fellows. Believe me!)
We lost contact after 12th. But God bless mobile communication which joined us again. He was the one who laid the cables. He had only one number of my uncle but he relentlessly went on to gather subsequent numbers to reach me. Once again he proved the gateway for my subsequent contacts with my Holy Home friends through mobile and Orkut.
This is one friendship which has survived the test of time and distance and progressed with constant speed.

SANJAY DEY:
He is another veteran hosteller and a very very dear friend of mine. He is completely different from all friends I ever had. He is not much educated or cultured as we so called high profiles would think us to be. But he has a heart of gold and he takes all decisions from the same golden heart. We were at different poles altogether and I actually had heard lot about him even before he came sometime in the middle of September. I was so afraid of him that I left my dormitory soon after his arrival .But thankfully I came back after the Puja vacations. Slowly I got to know how great and cool a man he was. He was impressed by my GK and I had to answer many times on his behalf when he had arguments. He liked me very much and was like a big brother to me. We were a team while watching the matches on our dorm television and my data was used to impress others. He gave special attention that I don’t fall to drinking or smoking and stay focused on my studies. I lost contact with him but Arijit and mobile brought back us together. He is a frequent caller and is rare when he fails to call once in a month.

ANIKET AGARKAR:
Aniket can be described only as crazy & weird if you don’t know him properly. Behind this façade is a sad guy who loves to have fun but something unseen withholds him. I came to know him because of Kaustubh during BSc I. Our first meeting was at Aniket’s house and we mutually disliked each other. But later because of being in the same college, our interactions increased and within a month we had cemented a strong friendship. He was little troubled and has troubling opening so easily to strangers. But surprisingly he liked me and shared many of his views with me. Whenever his grandmother used to go out of town, his home became the den to watch movies and have fun. The other criminal in this gang was Aditya. We used to laugh all night over trivial jokes and watch late night movies. In college we were part of a bigger group of mostly computer science students (I though was an Electronics student).
He was my intimate contact with the outside world in Pune. Every fortnight, we will meet and go to Deccan, park our vehicle at Apte Road, roam around Z-bridge & FC Road, eat dinner (mostly at Maharashtriyan, JM Road) and come back. We did it as a routine but this is what kept our friendship going strong and maintained sanity in our otherwise scheduled lives. Later, after my PG, his room in Pune became my sanctuary whenever I went there. He is quite unsocial and weird and in some ways are birds of the same branch. Even then I like him very much and become worried and sad if doesn’t call once in a week.

PRASAD JOSHI:
He is one of my closest 3 friends along with Aniket & Amoni. I met him first in my first year of BSc. What made me drawn to him was that he was from Tumsar. He was earlier reluctant to talk and generally used to stay with his relative, Kedar. But soon our friendship kicked and we became quite inseparable. Rarely would be a day when we will not meet at his uncle’s house where he stays. We were from the same batch and practical partners. Soon, I shifted my rooms to Abhyankar Nagar from Dhantoli which was near his home. Now we used to go colleges, tuitions together. Slowly and steadily our life fitted into a pattern. College, Tuition, talking and then home. Saturday we used to go to the Telangkhedi temple, check out gals at Futala and then have samosas at Shankar Nagar and come back. He is the one with whom I shared my joys & sorrow, beliefs & disbeliefs, friends & foes and many others. He was like the comforting cushion to me.
Even though a great guy he has the negative behavioural traits of having tinges of jealousy and more often tries to shroud him in excessive secrecy and mystery. This sometimes causes annoyance and irritation but that’s the part and parcel of the game.
After graduation, he helped me lot in my one year break to stay calm. During PG as well, we had great communication and the friendship strengthens everyday by leaps and bounds.

AVDHOOT DATAR:
I met this guy first in Hostel 3, University of Pune. He was my immediate neighbour and was kinda interesting. What brought us together was history & politics. We used to discuss all these sometimes well into the dead of the night. He is a great guy but extremely lethargic. This lethargy many a times caused tiffs between us but his dead-pan jokes always changed the scenario. It would not be wrong to say that his quest for Bengali made him a popular hunt for fun. I was his teacher and what I taught was only slangs in which I was ably supported by my other Bengali friends who had a better vocabulary than me. But he was innovative beyond measure and created slangs which instead of being abusive became hilarious. He generally took all this fun with the stride but sometimes I needed to play the pacifier.
The second phase of our friendship will be certainly the MSc-II year when we had our Astro classes together with Kaushalya. We had fun doing classes and practicals. At Ballava, whenever he came, the sordid dinner became Taj Mahal special. But here again his punctuality always troubled us. Even if we had to meet at 5, we will call him at 4:30. But then also he will come late by 15-20 minutes. We got angry and even scolded him but then he will win us over again. His lack of seriousness but over ambitious zeal for success and love for Mr. Thackrey got flak from us time to time but then Avdi is Avdi…
He was one of the most popular guys in the university across all subjects & strata. It is highly probable that he will find someone whom he knew perfectly well in busy Deccan as well as deserted Range Hills. His benevolence, easy-go attitude, coolness & stupid foolishness have won him many friends including me. I hope he remains the same albeit with little degree of seriousness added and yes remains my friend forever even if he gets a good wife!!!!

BARREL:
Barrel aka Soumyajyoti Haldar is one of my chubby buddies. We call him Barrel because he likes so. Most actually don’t know his real name. I met him first in MSc-I year. He is what we call a bit unsocial type and loves to stay away from controversies and gals. But that doesn’t stop him from being a team man. He has been a constant help during my studies. He is what many will say as “अखडू” and which cannot be discounted completely but one thing I’m sure about is that he has a heart of 24-carat gold, delicate but pure.
He hates big groups and especially if the fairer sex is a party as well. We have been to quite a few places together and the Ajanta-Ellora trip wouldn’t have been so fun without him. He is highly competitive, enthusiastic and I’ve always found him party to things which were challenging but within the permissible limits. Outside the limits, he is a man whom you can’t even budge a millimetre. His anger sits on the tip of his nose and many times his overbearing behaviour has brought in anger and opposition but at these times he behaved like an unruly kid. And I hate spanking kids. So, if we neglect these traits in character, don’t meddle with him much and let him be like he is, we can see the actual Barrel who lives behind this false façade. This guy has love, emotion and compassion but veiled by the false façade. Great to him as one of the individuals in my schemes of life.

ARADHANA NIKAM:
She is a girl and she is my friend. That is like finding water on the moon. Truly rare.
Aradhana Nikam is the best girl I’ve met in my short lifetime. She is the sweetest and most likeable gal I know. And this is not only my opinion. It’s an opinion shared by all who know her. She appears to be thin and fragile but that is completely untrue. She is fit both mentally and physically. She is an avid climber, has good grasp on Marathi literature and history, works for others through the NGO Jnan Prabodhini, benevolent, helpful and beautiful. Well her inner beauty surpasses any exterior beauty I know of.
I generally don’t like girls. But she is an exception. It would not be wrong to say that the influence she wielded on me is just next to my mother. She was my teacher cum guide not only for the city of Pune but also for life as a whole. Even though I knew her only since August-2007, the first time I talked to her properly was about a year later when she was to visit an art gallery on SB Road. I went to see that with her and that was the beginning. I don’t know how it happened but I surely asked her for help freely whenever I needed. She took the same place in my life that Prasad has. The friendship is still strong but little slack due to our quests for a great career.
Hope she remains the same as she is.


HIMADRI SONI:
I met Himadri in TIFR, Mumbai when I went there for a summer research programme. She used to sit at the adjoining computer in CM-30. For the first part of the programme, it was just a customary Hi & Hello. My computer although christened Hercules was the weakest in the room. Hence I had to use computers in DTP and in my lab for regular chatting. But slowly our interactions increased and we became good friends. The best fun we had was when we played that great Antakshari game during our trip to GMRT. Her friend, Aarti, our other CM-30 roommate, was feeling the heat of the project and had to work harder in the low temperature lab. We both were quite relaxed and along with Satti actually enjoyed our leisure time. Satti used to download movies for us and we used to watch them on my laptop. We had formed a small group of me, her, Sooraj, Janu, Arun & Satti (if not flirting) and generally tried to have our dinner together.
She is the rare combination of beauty with brains (She made me write this !!!!!! But if we neglect 'rare' it’s nevertheless true.)
After TIFR, an occasional scrap or a mail kept us in contact but not in that great way. But INAT-2008 cemented our friendship. And then the visit to Baroda strengthened it. She is a very dear friend of mine and I hope she will not forget me (Ha ha ha)!!!

HARISH KUNDARGI:
Another one of our quad from SNS. He was the only one who kept contact during 11th and 12th through ordinary mail. We had a rock solid friendship which continued over the mobile when we were in graduation. After that communication has minimized. We do have an occasional chat on gtalk.

SAURAVENDU BOSE:
Another of my good friends in Holy Home. He was from Deoghar and like me had a deficiency in Bengali. Works in Merchant Navy now. Always calls when he is on Indian shores.

KAUSTUBH NIMDEO:
He is different from any average teenager. Cool, reserved and not at all a masti-type. We share a friendship at the intellectual level and he is a great morale booster. Is in regular contact and my knowledge in money and economics of India gets big boost-ups due to him.

ADOSH DIXIT:
Another one of my good friends. Friendship blossomed due to avid interest in Geography, girls and general knowledge. Is in regular contact.

ADITYA DESHPANDE:
We share the same birthdate. Have never met a guy so much full of life and happiness. Of late communication has minimized. SMSinggggggg keeps us in touch.

ANUSTUV PAL:
My roommate in Pune for one and a half years. We tolerated each other to the utmost and had very few fights in such a long period. His another role apart from teaching computation was to supply movies. He is the one because of whom my knowledge in movies increased manifold and got addicted to Friends & Big Bang Theory. One friend whom I would not like to lose.

TARESH SHENDE:
Fellow Nagpurian. Friendship increased more because of Chiti & Barrel. Of late the only contact to physics in Nagpur. We meet regularly and have a steady friendship going on.

KAUSHALYA PATEL:
Astro partner. We had huge fun during the last year of MSc and especially during the late night practicals riding tripsy on Avdhoot’s M80 to Shivajinagar for a hot cup of coffee. Earlier I didn’t consider her at all. The only interaction I had in first year is when she wrote the invitation letter for the gathering. But as I started knowing her, I found my conceptions about her to be totally untrue. The only fault in my behaviour is that I don’t consider her much of a girl and talk in front of her uninhibitedly. She does complain about it. But I’ve not changed. She still remains one of the guys to me!

SUDHANVA LALIT:
Himadri’s Friend. This is how I came to know him. Friendship accelerated during INAT-2008 and my subsequent visit to Ahmedabad in May 2009.

DEAD ENDS:

BULBUL:
My earliest friend. She is just 2 days younger to me and we were acquainted even before we started studying. She studied with me till 10th. Was very good at heart.

DUSHYANT SORATHIA:
Friendship blossomed when in KGs. His father was a big officer where my father worked but our friendship stood rock steady till Std V, when his father was transferred. Have lost contact since.

MANISHA SINGH:
A true Leo. Had misunderstandings but were sorted out. Studied together until Std X. Have met a few times during graduation. She keeps a low profile nowadays and hence is unreachable.

CHANDAN GADVE:
One of my sweetest friends. We were a part of the quad I mentioned earlier. Have lost contact almost.

PRITI SURJAN:
One of the most intelligent girls I know. Stood first in our school in 10th boards. We had a good rapport during school days but now for the last 9 years we have absolutely zero communication.

ANAND AGRAWAL:
One of my best buddies in school. Had a great influence on me. We studied together during 10th. No communication since last 8 years. I even don’t know where he is.

BIKASH CHOUDHARY:
My first friend in Holy Home. But later communication minimized due to unknown reasons.

BAISHISHTHA MAZUMDAR:
One of my best buddies in Holy Home. We two were the only one without cigarettes, alcohol and girl friends. No contact since 12th.

SUJOY KARAN:
My first friend in Pune and the only one with whom I had a fight and a break-up.

Abnormal & Weird: The Adjectives Which Define Me The Best

My students term me weird and abnormal. They think that I’m different from what they perceive is normal for a human being. Well abnormal means anomalous (in Greek, an- not, homalous- even) which means irregular, out of pattern. Truly speaking, it’s nothing new for me to hear these adjectives. They have been said by different people in different circumstances at different periods of time in my life. And I have found it to be correct 99 out of 100 times. Yeah, I’m quite queer and sometimes my weirdness stupefies me as well!

Well, abnormality (out of norm) has been a feature of my existence and has stuck to me since my birth. I was born as a very weak child (had only a well formed head and butt). Nobody gave me more than a week to live. But I, with extreme care and love of my uncle and aunt, defeated all odds and am still living sound and actually have move towards the fatter side! While every child around me was walking on their fours, I was using my butt as the fulcrum to glide forward. I cried so much that not a single bird ever dared to venture towards my uncle’s house! Everyone used to think that I would be normal as soon as I grow up! They were wrong!

When my brother was born, I used to sit on him to test his weight taking capacity! You have guessed correct, I was spanked black and blue. As a kid, generally nobody has difficulty in finding friends. But yours truly was different, he needed biscuits as baits to catch friends. Bait finish, Friends gone! I was not able to get a single friend but what I got was chicken pox at the age of 4. This incompetency brought me close to my first love, books.

Another trait of my character is the uncanny love for written things. Let it be paan-stained newspaper cuttings, newspapers, hoardings, books or Hardy Boys. While others in my class were playing, I surprisingly was gulping books way beyond my reach. I read “Man on the moon” in class 4 or 5 and read “Hardy Boys”, “Nancy Drew” & “Three Investigators” in class 9. Totally other way round! I was so engrossed in my story books that I used to finish one every day and actually screwed my class-9th result! People used to think me over-smart as I used to discuss and argue with not only my class-mates but also with teachers and seniors. I actually had gulped copious amount of books on different subjects and needed to discuss them which often lead to arguments. This knowledge made my life chaotic. Now, it was becoming difficult to accept things without reasoning and with my reasoning always different, I am always at loggerheads.

(While people find order in symmetry, I find order in chaos. “Ordo ab chao” is the motto for me. This habit of mine has crept into my life-system and is in most probability going to stay forever.)

My weirdness obviously made me a loner. I was a library where people visit but don’t stay! People don’t understand me and I don’t understand them either. Till class-10th, at least I had friends. Later it became difficult for me to make friends and even acquaintances. The more I grew older, the more I became queer and loner. The biggest problem maybe is my disbelief in the institution of society and relations. I have always a different set of ideas regarding any topic and it more than often irks people! Like, I hate anyone who carries his religion, caste, community up his sleeve. But that’s not, I presume, how it works in the society. We are supposed to support a group or the other, preferably the majority but then Subhasish Chandra is weird, right!

These differences in opinions and views have led to the development of a trench in between me and others. Others think I am weird as I am not like them and I think why can’t they be like me? Obviously, the other side is in majority and I get the adjectives! There have been occasions when it becomes difficult for me to tolerate myself. I have been asked by many, including my mother, to be little normal. But for some reasons, I can’t get along with the norms of the society. If they fit me then I have no problems. Otherwise I have to protest or neglect them. In that case I will be decorated with the adjective. And frankly speaking I don’t like most of the social norms. Recently, I came out of a temple because it needed the worshipper to do his ‘aarti’ in Indian clothes which I didn’t like! My friend felt offended and thought my actions weird as well because I was not even going to do an ‘aarti’ over there!

This is not the only case. There are several occasions when my actions have actually offended people but I found it reasonable at that time and even though I felt bad later, not because of my actions but because someone else was hurt, it’s highly probable that I would repeat the same again! Just can’t help it. Pleasing others is something which is not in my veins and I hope it never appears as well. Hypocrisy just doesn’t work for me.

If you have seen the sitcom, “Big Bang Theory”, you can readily associate me with a person who is 80% Sheldon & 15% Leonard. Rest is a mix of Howard, Raj and even the comic book store owner, Stuart!

Caution:

If you have found not a single trace of weirdness in me then you don’t know me at all.

If you have found weirdness in me and hence decided to keep a distance then you are a sensible being.

If you have found weirdness in me and yet like to associate with me then either you are a Mahatma or a weird like me.

Parental Pressures

This topic was in my head for long. 3-Idiots, interactions with my students, sudden surge in student suicides and the forthcoming board exams have acted as an opportune occasion to relieve my ideas.

Students across the world face peer pressure in whatever they do. Most cruise away but a few fail to do so and succumb to it. Every parent wants his ward to be the most successful in this universe whether the junior likes it or not!

Most parents start forcing their children to excel (beyond their limits) during class X boards, some little earlier and a few from day one. Everyone wants his child to be the Numero Uno. They want them to be a Sachin, a Lata, a Bhimsen Joshi, an Einstein, a Kalam or aka some other great. And if the kid fails to do it, pressure starts mounting on him. But if we look into the lives of these greats, parental pressures & interference were at a minimal. This only allowed them to succeed. {Remember 3-Idiots!}

When the kid fails to live upto their expectations (which can even surpass the height of Mt. Everest!), guardians start chiding, arguing with them. Some even resort to emotional blackmailing, bribing, abusing and even merciless beating. They think that their excessive strictness will bring their kids back to the correct path. But more than often this has a negative effect on the kid. Not allowing kids to watch TV, curbing their playing time, not allowing to mix with other kids, stopping their favourite pastimes, saying no to every demand (sometimes even before listening fully) may seem as strict disciplinary measures to the seniors but for a junior it may act as the first seed of rebellion. They become discouraged, unhappy and eventually rebellious. They lie freely and don’t give a damn to what their parents say. Mostly this goes in their head:

साला जो करो उसी में इनको परेशानी रहती है ,
करो तो डांट नहीं करो तो डांट,
अब कुछ करूँगा ही नहीं,
देखें क्या होता है !

Discipline and strictness are good but too much of anything is bad for everyone’s health. {Watch Bomarillu & Taare Zamin Par for a more thorough audio-visual outlook.}

Another trouble is the comparisons faced. Parents compare them with their more successful siblings, friends or relatives. Even teachers resort to this kind of comparisons as well. This leads to an inferiority complex among such kids and they feel discriminated and alienated. This may lead to decline in his performance in all walks of life and even can result in a suicide.

{A classic example of contrasting yet successful siblings is that of R K Narayan & R K Laxman. While Narayan is a celebrated English novelist, Laxman passed XIIth barely. But the great cartoonist was not discouraged and he made a niche out for himself. His ‘Silent Man’ speaks more than volumes of books!}

In the mad race of ‘Who’s Better’, parents involve their kids as well. They want their wards to excel for the enhancement of their respect in the society. Slowly and steadily we join the bandwagon and become horses running for their pride. Soon we acquire the contagious disease of ‘Who’s Great’ and may well pass onto the next generation as well. {It’s same as: “We rag because our seniors did so to us!}

Let’s change the world now. Let’s not repeat what our guardians did to us. Let’s put an end to this nonsense and allow our next generation to live freely and not entail them to the same miseries as we went through.

Also the kids who suffer should understand that the existing ‘Who’s Great’ disease cannot be cured fully. So, they should do a small compromise. They should study enough to get a respectable 60-70. Believe me it won’t be difficult if you encourage yourself to think it as the gate-pass to your free life. The parents should also accept this fact their ward is not the genius they wanted. But that doesn’t mean he is a no-brainer either. He may be excellent in some other field which you would have chosen to overlook. Cultivate his potentials and he will reap in a successful and a happy life. Isn’t it what all parents want !!!!!!

So, it’s an earnest request to all seniors that please be on your children’s side when he needs but don’t forcefully guide him to tread the path that you have chosen for him!

P.S:

Suicidal tendencies: Of late many kids are killing themselves, unable to handle pressure. My request to them is that life is precious and can’t be lost for some minor failures. You are not asshole losers to die like this. Life doesn’t end here. Picture तो अभी बाकी है मेरे दोस्त !

To my friends: All of us will become parents in the next 10 years or so. Promise yourself not to repeat what happened to you!